Paul F. Tompkins - Getting Around Los Angeles

Paul F. Tompkins: Crying and Driving Season 1, Ep 101 10/10/2015 Views: 6,635

After moving to L.A., Paul F. Tompkins finds out the hard way that it's not much fun to take city buses -- or taxis. (2:00)

Then I moved to Los Angeleswhere everything became

exponentially moredifficult, right?

Like, I knew kind of thatLos Angeles was a car culture.

I didn't know that youjust had to have a car.

You just haveto have a car.

When I first got here Istarted taking the bus places

and then veryquickly realized,

(smug, high class voice)oh, that simply isn't done.

[laughter]

(normal voice) I wouldtell people I took the bus

and they would say, what doyou mean you took the bus?

[laughter]

No, no, no, no, no.

I understand the phrase butnot in like a life context.

[laughter]

Were you researching a role?

[laughter]

So then after I got agood paying showbiz job

I started takingcabs everywhere,

and what cabs had overbuses is that they were a

thousand times moreexpensive and a million

times more unreliable.

[laughter]

Here's what they're great at:

keeping those self-loathingfires stoked at all times,

because in Los Angeles youcan't just stick your hand

in the air and hail a cab.

It's not what you do.

You have to call a cabcompany and ask them to

send a cab over to you.

Like, if you were to walkout and try to hail a cab

in Los Angeles the cabwould think it was weird.

[laughter]

Like, the cab driverwould say, is that guy

trying to hail a cab?

[laughter]

I'm a cab.

[laughter]

In Los Angeles you haveto call a cab company up,

much like a childasking for their parent

to pick themup from a place.

(child-like voice)Hello, cab company?

[laughter]

Can you come get me?

[laughter]

I'm not a real grown up.

I'm just like a bigbaby in a man suit.

[laughter]