The Daily Show returns today
following itsmost sacred time of the year:
Two weeks without politics--
so long as you spentthe entire time
at the bottom of a canyonwithout cell reception,
satellite or human contact.
Which we did,and which is why this story
touched all of us so deeply,as Jordan Klepper reports.
KLEPPER: America's ugly election cycle
has been raging for months,
and I, for one, needed a (bleep) break.
But I'm cheap.
So how could I get The DailyShow to send me on vacation
and make it look like I'm covering a story?
NEWSWOMAN: Today the Republican Party
of the U.S. Virgin Islands held its caucus.
KLEPPER: Bingo! The U.S. Virgin Islands.
What does this U.S. territory have to do with our election?
But holy (bleep), is it nice!
So I went down and blended in like a local
with my sweet-ass novelty vacation shirts,
and talked to Suzanne Carlson,
a reporter who covers politics...
Basically, um... we don't havethe right to vote for president.
We don't have the rightto vote for congress.
But we do get to elect delegatesto the convention.
That's fun. So nice to get awayfrom those mainland politics
and just enjoy someVirgin Island "politics."
There are some more weightyissues than you might think.
Like... should I chooselight rum or dark rum?
I don't know ifthat's really an issue here.
(laughing):Yeah. I would agree,
'cause the answer is... both.
Well, it's...there's more to it than that.
Um, there's been multiplelawsuits filed back and forth,
radio ads attackingvarious members of the party
against each other.
There was the assaultat the gun range.
My producer didn't tell me this.
Ian! Ian!Get your ass in here.
We got a story.We're not drinking till 4:00.
So an assault and lawsuits over a bunch of delegates
that can't even vote in the general election.
For God's sake, why?
NEWSWOMAN: Republicans there are having what is by far
the nastiest fight over delegates
in this entire election.
NEWSWOMAN: Originally, six delegates were elected
to the Virgin Islands GOP caucus,
but... the chair of the Virgin Islands GOP
declared those delegates ineligible,
instead trying to replace them
with his own slate of delegates.
KLEPPER: On one side of this battle is this guy,
John Yob, who totally jacked
the Republican bro-in-the-Islands look
I was going for.
I came down here and, uh,ran a real campaign,
and I won with 131 total votes.
And on the other side is John Canegata,
chairman of the Virgin Islands Republican Party.
John Yob is this politicaloperative from, um, Michigan
that came down hereand he got disqualified
for not following the rules.
And they're acting just like Republicans back up north.
It's Mr. Canegatawho is breaking the rules.
(chuckles):At best, Yob is a carpetbagger.
I would question whether he hastwo brain cells to rub together.
He's thinkinghe can come to Saint Croix
and grab a mongoose by the tail.
Why are you doing thisto me, man?
I'm here for the rumand the parrotfish tacos.
And we'll get you that--we have good parrotfish tacos.
-That's a thing?-It is.
I just made that (bleep) up.
Okay, just to remind me, they're fighting to go where?
Where things stand right now is
that we'll be goingto Cleveland.
I'm going to Cleveland
because we got to takeour delegation there.
There are... two setsof delegations of people
from the Virgin Islandswho are going to Cleveland?
-Yes, that's correct.-Let me get this straight.
You want to leave this...
Jordan, it's a part ofthe process-- I have to do it.
We have to fight this fightand it takes us to Cleveland.
But that's exactly the kind of insanity
you'd expect from these guys
considering this is what their average meeting looks like.
-(indistinct chatter)-Gwen, you're out of order.
And it wasn't just pushing.
Mr. Canegata, not only is he,uh, carrying a gun
while he's holdingthese meetings, but...
-During the meetingshe has a gun on him? -Yes.
-You carried a gun. -I'vebeen told that I carry/conceal,
I've been told that.
-You've been told thatyou carry a weapon? -Yeah.
Who tells you that? Yourself?
-That's been told.-When you put it on,
-do you know that you'rewearing it? -I know it's there.
No one gets shot, but I think weconducted a pretty good meeting.
-That's a successful meeting?Nobody got shot? -Yeah.
The fireworks don't stop there.
They even have radio attack ads.
I have it right here.
MAN (in video):John Yob wrote the book
about howthe Virgin Islands delegates
are going to be criticalat the convention...
-That's real?-That's real.
Who is putting this adon the radio?
Well, the... according tothe logs at the radio station,
it's Mr. Canegata.
And apparently, Yob had evidence.
I'm not responsiblefor those ads.
I hate to do this.
This is your name at the logat the radio station.
-Where do you see that?-Right there.
Um... I don't know whythe radio station would do that,
because I didn't pay for that,that's for sure.
-That's not your name?-That must be a mistake.
I mean... busted.
I mean, I don't really givea (bleep), because I'm here
in paradise and I'm tryingto chill the (bleep) out,
but why are you guyspetty-squabbling like this?
-It's not petty. -You got melooking at radio station logs.
In the end, it's the RNC Credentials Committee
that decides who gets in to the convention,
but, wouldn't you know it...
There's somecontroversy there, too.
John Yob's father, Chuck Yob,
is actuallyon the credentials committee.
Oh, come on! My colada is melting!
Who's onthe credentials committee?
There's 112 peopleon the credentials committee.
Do you know anybodyon the credentials committee?
Uh, sure, I know a few peopleon the credentials committee.
This is a small, uh...
John, is your dadon the committee?
Yes, my dad isone of those people
who is onthe credentials committee.
Damn it! It seems no matter where you go,
even to paradise,
you can't escape American political bull (bleep).
So I guess I'm heading home.
-Are you Jordan?-You my Uber?
-Yep. Come on.-Okay.
Now, take meto Manhattan Island.
-I need a crossroad, man. -52nd and, like, 11th?