Jillian for Break Room Manager

  • Season 4 , Ep 3
  • 02/05/2014
  • Views: 6,828

When Alice announces that she'll give her Costco card to whoever's chosen to be break room manager, the guys conspire to elect Jillian as their puppet. (1:48)

[clears throat]OKAY, I AM SICK AND TIRED

OF HEARING ABOUTTHE GODDAMN BREAK ROOM.

- YEP.- "OH, WHERE'S MY JELL-O?"

"WAYMOND'S PUTTING HIS FINGERSIN MY PEANUT BUTTER."

CHOOSE SOMEONE TO BEIN CHARGE OF THE SNACKS,

AND I WILL GIVE THEMMY COSTCO CARD, THE END.

- NEVER FEAR,MONTEEZY IS HERE.

COLLEEN GOT MEON THIS NEW-AGE DIET,

AND I'M LOOKING TWO WORDS--DEE LICIOUS.

- YOU LOOK HORRIBLE.- YEAH. STILL--

- YOU LOOK REALLY BAD.- LISTEN,

I SAY WE TAKE THE BREAK ROOM,AND WE "HEALTHIFY" THIS BITCH.

YOU KNOW, I USED TO BE LIKE,"OH, HELL, KALE?"

NOW I'M LIKE,"OH, HELL, KALE!"

- HE SAID THE SAME THING.- AND THESE JUICE CLEANSES...

GOT MY SKIN GLOWINGLIKE PAULA ABDUL.

- I'LL [bleep] TO THAT.

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.STOP THE CLOCK.

OKAY, CHECK YOURSELFBEFORE YOU ELECT YOURSELF.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A PROPERELECTION HAPPENING HERE.

- OKAY, WHO ELSE ISGONNA RUN?

- WE WILL, LIKE, TOGETHERAS, LIKE--

LIKE, WE'LL BE COMBINED,LIKE VOLTRON,

EXCEPT FOR WE'RE NOT GONNA RUN.

WE'RE GONNA SPRINT,LIKE USAIN BOLT-RON.

- WHAT?[laughter]

- HOW DID I THINK OF THAT?- THAT WAS SO GOOD.

- THAT WAS SO GOOD.- THAT WAS SMART OF ME.

I WAS LIKE JAY Z...

- IF YOU COULD JUSTEXCUSE US FOR ONE SECOND.

- THAT WAS AMAZING.- THANK YOU.

- BUT WE CAN'T ELECT OURSELVESBECAUSE THEY'RE GONNA KNOW

WE'RE STEALING THE SNACKS,YOU DIG?

- BUT, DUDE, DID YOU HEAR?THE COSTCO CARD, MAN--

THAT'S, LIKE, BULK SNACKS,SAMPLERS, BULK BOOZE.

KIRKLAND!

- KIRKLAND.- KIRKLAND.

- YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT.IT'S SO GOOD.

- BEST VODKA.- YEAH, I REP KIRKLAND.

- HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.WE'RE GONNA ELECT JILLIAN.

THAT WAY, WE'LL TELL HERWHAT TO BUY.

WE'LL STEAL FROM HER.IT WONT COME BACK TO US.

WE'LL BE GENIUSES.- YEAH, SHE'LL BE--

SHE'LL BE LIKE ELMO,AND WE'LL BE THAT

ALLEGEDLY BLACK PERVERT DUDEWITH OUR HAND UP HER BUTT.

- YEAH.- I'M GONNA UNHUDDLE NOW.

GUYS, SO FOR THE ELECTIONTHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT,

WE ELECT JILLIAN.

- WHOO!WAIT. WHAT?

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