Terrence Makes Reservations for Bill Cosby

  • Season 1 , Ep 5
  • 06/30/2002
  • Views: 10,094

Bill Cosby's assistant Terrence calls ahead to make sure a restaurant will be able to handle all of his client's special requests. (3:32)

( phone ringing )

THANK YOU FOR CALLING( beep ), THIS IS ALLISON.

( man )Hi there, my name is Terrenceand I'm Bill Cosby's assistant.

MM-HMM.

AND I WANTED TO MAKEA RESERVATION FOR MR. COSBY

FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.

Tomorrow night ?

AND THERE'S CERTAIN THINGSTHAT MR. COSBY... LIKES.

OKAY.

And I was wondering ifI could mention those to you.

WHAT DOES HE LIKE ?

FIRST OF ALL, HE DOESN'TLIKE TO BE MADE A SPECTACLE OF,

SO IF THE STAFF COULD AVOIDMAKING EYE CONTACT WITH

OR LOOKING AT HIM,HE WOULD APPRECIATE THAT.

WHAT IS THE TEMPERATUREGENERALLY IN THE RESTAURANT ?

It's a nice,comfortable temperature.

MR. COSBY LIKESIT AT EXACTLY 71°.

OKAY.

BILL DOES NOT LIKE FOODIN THE SHAPE OF A SQUARE.

Mm-hmm.

ALSO THE WAIT STAFF, IF THEYCOULD REFER TO HIM AS "MY MAN."

HE LIKES TO BECALLED "MY MAN."

OKAY.

HE'LL ALSO NEED EXCLUSIVEACCESS TO THE MEN'S ROOM,

AND SO IF YOU COULD,IF YOU COULD ROPE THAT OFF

OR SOMETHING FORTHE OTHER CUSTOMERS

so that he has exclusiveaccess to that.

OKAY.

OH, A LARGE, SHALLOWBOWL OF SALTWATER

BECAUSE SOMETIMES HE LIKES TOWASH HIS FEET BEFORE THE MEAL.

OKAY, CAN YOU HOLDJUST ONE MOMENT ?

YES, YES, I WILL.

Thank you.

HI, HOW ARE YOU ?THIS IS SEPTEMBER.

YOU WERE SPEAKINGWITH ALLISON, I THINK.

WE HAVE, UH--

SHE HAD GIVEN ME A LIST OFA FEW THINGS THAT YOU WANTED

TO MAKE SURE WASTAKEN CARE OF--

YES, CAN I GO OVERTHAT LIST WITH YOU ?

JUST TO MAKE SUREYOU HAVE EVERYTHING ?

Okay, what do youhave on that list ?

I HAVE, HE DOESN'T WANTTO BE MADE A SPECTACLE OF.

RIGHT.

No square-shaped food.

RIGHT.And what is thisabout M.U. man ?

MY MAN.

Oh, my man,Oh, sorry.

BILL LIKES TO BEREFERRED TO AS "MY MAN."

WHEN HE COMES INTOTHE RESTAURANT,

YOU COULD SAY,"HEY, MY MAN !"

"WHAT'S HAPPENING ?"THAT KINDA THING.

HE'S A REGULAR GUY,HE'S A TERRIFIC GUY.

Oh, definitely,I'm sure.

YES, YES.

UM, NOW LET'S SEE, EXCLUSIVEACCESS TO THE RESTROOM FOR HIM.

WE DO HAVE A BACK STAIRWELL INOUR KITCHEN THAT HE CAN USE

IF HE DOES NEED TO GO SO HEDOESN'T HAVE TO WALK THROUGH--

WILL ANYONE ELSE BE USINGTHAT BATHROOM AT ALL ?

Umm, yeah,it is a public restroom.

We do have an employee restroom,but it's not gonna be a--

BILL DOES NOT-- IF ANYONEIS USING IT, HE WILL KNOW.

AND HE WILL KNOW, AND I DON'TKNOW HOW HE KNOWS, BUT HE KNOWS.

FOR THE WHOLE EVENINGWHILE HE'S HERE ?

For the eveningwhile he's here, yes.

And if there's some kind of"sanitized for your protection"

seal on the toilet,just to let him know

THAT EVERYTHING IS CLEAN ANDPREPARED FOR HIS... BUTTOCKS.

I MEAN, HE IS VERY SPECIFICABOUT CERTAIN THINGS,

BUT HE'S A WONDERFUL MAN.

OKAY, AND WHAT ISTHIS OTHER THING,LARGE BALL OF SALTWATER ?

BOWL OF SALTWATER.

SOMETIMES HE LIKESTO WASH HIS FEET,

AND OBVIOUSLY HE WON'T DOTHAT IN THE RESTAURANT.

He'll go intothe bathroom.

BUT SOMETIMES HE DOES LIKE TOWASH HIS FEET BEFORE THE MEAL.

OKAY.

AND JUST SO I HAVE IT FOR SURE,WHAT WILL YOU CALL MR. COSBY

WHEN HE COMES INTOTHE RESTAURANT ?

My man.

THANK YOU SO MUCH,SEPTEMBER.

AND WE LOOK FORWARDTO SEEING YOU.

AND PLEASE DON'T MAKEDIRECT EYE CONTACTWITH MR. COSBY, THANKS.

THANK YOU, TERRENCE.

Thanks, take care,goodbye.

( farting )

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