Officer Jay Season 1, Ep 1 02/01/2007 Views: 190,818

Sarah always has to watch herself when she goes to pee. (2:22)

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contains full frontaljew-dity.

[upbeat folksy guitarsong intro, rooster crows]

♪ I always wake upwith the morning sun ♪

♪ I always take my pillswith herbal tea ♪

♪ I always never cry,and I've always wondered why ♪

♪ I always have to watch myselfwhen I go pee ♪

♪ I really love my life

♪ And I'll also tell you what

♪ If I find a stick I'll put itin your mama's butt ♪

♪ And pull it out and stickthe doody in her eye ♪

♪ And pull it out and stick

♪ The doody in her eye ♪

Good morning, Laura,my adorable little sister.

Brian, Steve,

my two gay friends.

Actually, I'm bisexual.

Oh, my God.


Brian, you're gay.

Don't start this.


When have you everbeen with a woman?

Guys, don't fight.

You should love each other,

and be sweetand good-looking,

like me and Laura.

Oh, thanks.


Uck![all groan]

I thoughtyou sounded stuffy.Thank you.

Yeah, maybe you're gettingbisexual germs from Brian.

There is a time and a placefor this conversation.

Name three partsof a woman's vagina.

The labia,the fallopian tube,

the...bumpy thing.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

It doesn't prove anything!

Here, take this.

Go get yourself somecold medicine right away.

You don't wannabe too sick for us

to watch Cookie Party tonight.

Don't even say that.

Nothing would ever comebetween me and you

watching our favoriteTV show together.

Not even if I was in a comawith double "pneumona."

You know,it is kind of cool

the way you guys havethis standing date every week.

I mean, most girlsyour age

would have totallymoved on by now.

You know,had relationships and kids.

Oh, no, Cookie Party

is our relationshipsand kids.

Nice one.

Thank you, and on that note,I'm outta here.

Take it easy.Take it sleazy.


[techno dance music plays]

God. Whoa.

She's neverhad any lessons.