Dave Attell - Men Who Don't Exist

Pulp Comics: Dave Attell Season 1, Ep 103 05/27/1997 Views: 9,341

Women always want opposites in men. (1:24)

New York.

How are you?

Prepare to love me.

Oh, this is going to be great.

I can feel it right now.

Do you feel it?

>> Yeah!

>> Oh, my God.

Wow.

This is incred--look.

Everybody's here.

How are you?

And you had to--

[laughs] Over here.

Everybody's hanging out.

And the math team and the models

together finally.

Finally they've buried the

hatchet.

All right.

Man.

Women are always looking for men

that don't exist.

You got a boyfriend there, miss?

You don't have one.

Let me tell you why, okay?

It's nothing you're doing.

Women always want opposites

in one man.

"I want an outdoorsy guy

who's hilarious."

What?

He's outdoorsy and hilarious.

But if you combined those two

things, you would not like it.

Rodeo clowns, okay, I'm telling

you.

They're outdoorsy, hilarious,

alcoholic, and wanted.

Then there's always the girl,

"I just want a nice guy who

will give and give and give and

not want sex in return."

I actually know this guy.

He exists.

His name's Grandpa, all right?

Yeah.

And he has your nose, all right?

I only have one grandpa.

We call him Grandpa Alive.

And...

[laughter]

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