Carlos Oscar - Show the Truth

Stanton, Zager, Williams, Oscar Season 9, Ep 909 01/20/2006 Views: 2,884

Carlos wants commercials to tell the truth. (1:29)

YOU NEW YORKERS DRINK.

THE COMMERCIALSINFLUENCE YOU TO DRINK?

YOU EVER SEE-- THEY LIE RIGHT, THE BEER COMMERCIAL?

THEY SHOW THE GUY AT THE BAR. HE'S ALL RIPPED WITH A BEER.

SHUT UP. YOU KNOW?SHOW A REAL BEER DRINKER.LAHHH! SHOW THE TRUTH.

AND HE'S ALWAYS WITH A BEAUTIFUL GIRL.

AH, HE DRINKS BEER-- SHOW THE TRUTH.

SHOW HIM AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING.

- [RETCHING] - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SHOW THE TRUTH.YEAH. RIGHT?

SHOW HIM WITH THE GIRL HE REALLY CAME HOME WITH,

THE ONE TOOTH-- "HEY, WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT HAPPENED?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND I'M MARRIED NOW. THINGS CHANGE.

YOU LADIES CHANGE FROM THE FIRST DATE.

REMEMBER THE FIRST DATE?

THEY NEVER EAT ON THE FIRST DATE, YOU LADIES.

THE FOOD COMES, "OH, IT'S-- OH-- TOO MUCH."

AREN'T YOU GONNA EAT? "NO, I ATE LAST WEEK."

YOU ATE-- EAT THE FOOD ALREADY! ATE LAST WEEK.

AND YOU HEAR THE STOMACHTHE WHOLE DINNER.

- [GARGLING SOUND] - [LAUGHTER]

CAN'T TAKE HER ANYMORE.IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

DO YOU REMEMBER THE FOURTH DATE, GUYS?

THINGS CHANGE, HUH? FOURTH DATE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'VE GOT FOOD HITTIN' MY FACE. LIKE IT? YOU LIKE IT, YOU LIKE IT?

I GOTTA DEAL WITH THE KIDS. KIDS ARE DIFFERENT TODAY.