Mike E. Winfield - Love to Argue

Season 4, Ep 0403 10/30/2009 Views: 986

Mike E. Winfield can't even ask his wife a simple question. (3:45)

You love to argue.

Women, you love it.You love...

Don't, don't shakeyour head "no."

Look, she's like,

"No."What you mean "no"?

You're arguingwith me right now.

Women love it, man.

I think some mornings,y'all just wake up like,

"Look at him.

"Just enjoying himself.

Not in my house."

That's why, man,I just look for the signs.

The signs are thereif you pay attention.

She will give you signs,

like the other day,I knew she was mad.

'Cause she made my sandwich

with the two end piecesof bread.

They wasn't eventhe last two pieces.

You get it? That meansshe dug inside the loaf.

Reached to the back and grabbedout the other end piece.

And I didn't even noticebecause she tricked me

and made the sandwichinside out.

I was like, "Mayonnaiseon the brown side?"

I knew when I was eating it,I'm like,

"Man, this taste extra crustyor something."

When she handed it to me,I saw crumbs on her forearm.

Do you know how evil that is?

She contaminated the whole loaf.

Can you imaginewhen she reached inside?

You know the other sliceswere like, "Hey!

What's wrong with us?"

"What did we do?"

Y'all notice the bread wastalking like that

'cause it was white bread?

'Cause you knowif it had been wheat bread,

it'd have been like,

"Oh, hell no!

You gonna pickthis crusty (bleep)?"

Can't even aska simple question.

You ever ask your ladywhere something is?

She tell you where it's atand don't see it.

She's pissed.

"Honey, I'm looking in thecabinet to the right,

it's not here."She's like,

"It's there."

"It's to the right."

"No, I'm looking in the cabinetto the right, it's not here."

"It's in there!"

"No, I'm looking in the cabinet.

I'm looking to the right,it's not here."

And you can feel her get mad.

She's like,"Don't make me get up!"

And fellas,we looking in the cabinet.

We looking to the rightand it's not there.

Right, fellas?

It's not there.

It's not!

So she gets up and it stillain't there.

You know the messed up part,when she shows up,

it magically appears.

That's how dumb we lookwhen we turn around.

We're like,"How'd that get there?

How did that get there?"

And does she takeit easy on you? No.

She's like, "Do you see it now?"

"Huh? Do you see it now?

"Maybe if your eyeswas big as your teeth,

you would see somethingevery once in a while."

"I need you to send someoneover here immediately..."