Roast Battle II: L.A. Regionals Pt. 1 - Homosexual vs. Homo Erectus - Uncensored

Roast Battle II: L.A. Regionals Pt. 1 Season 2, Ep 3 01/15/2017 Views: 1,889

Alex Hooper reveals Joe Dosch's questionable sports bar order, and Joe fires back with the sad reason why Alex will never be a douchebag. (2:19)

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[bell dinging]

- Joe looks like he would ordersoup at a sports bar.


- Alex is so ugly,when he goes to a glory hole,

the guy on the other sidewants to just be friends.


- Joe never buys lube.

He still has a full bucketof his parents' tears

from when he came outas a gay comedian.

[crowd groans]

[siren blaring]

- Alex is an actor.He was on Nickelodeon

playing a ninja, and in a silentmovie playing the moon.

[laughter]- Last joke!

- Wow, Joe, I knowhomosexuality isn't a choice,

but stand-up is, and maybeyou should stop.

- Oh, all right.

[laughter][gunshot sound effect]


You know, I'd call Alexa douche bag,

but a douche bagcan hold moisture.


[air horn blaring]

- That's it!Round one!

First match:Joe Dosch, Alex Hooper!

Holy crap!

- They came out firing,and um,

I think Alex did, uh,a great job.

I have to pick Alex.

- That's one for Alex.

- Uh, I'm into presentation,

and Alex came outwith a double mask,

which is hard to pull off,but, uh...

[laughter]I gotta go with Joe.

- That's ballsy.- Joe, I'll give you the--

I'll give you the win.- Thank you.

- Hey! All right.

- One Alex.One Joe.

- You're a fucking weirdo,

and that's very obviousjust by looking at you.

- Oh, I know.- Okay.

- Oh, I know.- I gotta go with Alex.

- All right.

- Alex fucking never wins.Uh...

- What?- Never.

- Wait, wait, wait.- [laughs]

- No, I meant in life.- Yeah.


- I'll say this:Alex,

you really should becomplimented tonight,

you should be proud 'cause youreally did beat one of the best.

Congratulations.- Oh, man!

Alex Hooper!

Hug each other.

- Frankly, I don't carethat I lost,

'cause we put onsuch a great show,

which is a thing that loserssay, but yeah,

I was really, really happywith what we did.

- Keep it going!

- I spent so much timethinking about you,

and it's been a pleasure, man.

- Oh, I know.- It's been a fucking pleasure.

- Now's the time for healing.- Right?