Zach Galifianakis - Massage Chair

  • Season 5 , Ep 12
  • 09/16/2001
  • Views: 53,271

It's easy to lose yourself in a massage chair. (2:41)

♪ (PIANO IS PLAYING)

ZACH>> TODAY I WAS IN MY HOTELAND I WAS WEARING MY "GIRLS KICK

ASS" T-SHIRT, AND WEARING MYANKLE WEIGHTS.

IT WAS LIKE, WHAT AM I GOINGTO TALK ABOUT?

TALK ABOUT LIFE, ZACH.

TALK ABOUT YOUR LIFE, THAT'SWHAT THE PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR.

SO HERE GOES...

(LAUGHTER)MY ROOMMATE IS ASIAN AND I PLAY

THE PIANO A LOT IN THE HOUSE,AND EVERY TIME SHE COMES THROUGH

THE DOOR I DO THIS...

(PLAYS A CLICHE"ASIAN" PIANO LINE)

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)SHE'S LIKE, "ZACH, WHY DO YOU DO

THAT EACH TIME I COME THROUGHTHE DOOR?"

AND I'M LIKE, "BECAUSE I DON'THAVE A GONG."

(LAUGHTER)

GUYS, HAVE YOU EVER WOKEN UP

WITH AN ERECTION AND THEN YOUREALIZE THAT YOU'RE JUST IN A

MASSAGE CHAIR AT BROOKSTONE?

(LAUGHTER AND WHISTLES)

AND THEN YOU YELL OUT--

I'LL TAKE IT!

(LAUGHTER)

I'VE SINUS PROBLEMS AND IT'S--

I'M GREEK AND I HAVE SINUSPROBLEMS AND I KNOW WHY.

MY BODY PRODUCES FETA CHEESE.

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S NOT REALLY A JOKE,

IT'S JUST A FACT.

ALLOW ME TO OPEN UP.

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO DRUNK THAT

YOU WET THE BED?

I DON'T MEAN YOU'RE SLEEPINGIN IT, YOU'RE JUST STANDING OVER

PISSING ON IT?

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

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