Jackie Kashian: SEE I WILL

HANG OUT WITH ALMOST ANYONE,

I MEAN, THAT'S WHERE IT COMES

RIGHT DOWN TO.

I'M A GOOD SPORT ABOUT THE WHOLE

HANGIN' OUT.

I WILL HANG--

I DO DRAW THE LINE, AND IT'S

A VERY SERIOUS LINE IN THE SAND.

VERY FAR DOWN THE ROAD,

BUT DRAWN IT IS.

AND IT'S RIGHT BEFORE THE WAR

RE-ENACTMENT GUYS.

THAT MAKES ME THE NICEST PERSON

ON THE PLANET.

'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW

HOW FAR INTO THE DORK FOREST

YOU GOT TO GO TO GET TO THE WAR

REENACTMENT GUYS.

PRETTY DEEP!

YOU HAVE TO GO LIKE BY

THE BEANIE BABY PEOPLE AND

THE STAR WARS GUYS, AND THE

RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL FREAKS,

AND THE POKEMON KIDS.

YOU HAVE TO GO BY HARRY POTTER

HIMSELF TO GET TO THE WAR

REENACTMENT GUYS, WHO I WILL NOT

HANG OUT WITH ANY MORE.

HOW SAD IS THAT.

(LAUGHTER)

'CAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS SAYIN'

STUFF LIKE, "EVERY WEEKEND,

I JUST EAT HARD TACK WITH

WEEVILS IN IT 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT

IT WAS REALLY LIKE DURING THE

REVOLUTIONARY WAR."

HUM--

I'LL BE OVER HERE.

"AND NO GIRLS ALLOWED.

YOU CAN'T PLAY."

"I DON'T WANT TO PLAY."

"STILL, NO GIRLS ALLOWED."

"STILL DO NOT WISH TO PLAY."

SWEAR TO GOD, THE GUY GOES,

"WELL, MAYBE YOU COULD PLAY.

MAYBE YOU COULD BE A PIONEER

PROSTITUTE.

THEY HAD THEM, THEY CALLED THEM

'CAMP FOLLOWERS'."

IT TURNS OUT THAT I DO NOT WISH

TO BE A PIONEER PROSTITUTE.

I DON'T WANT THERE TO BE A SIGN

IN THE FAKE LEWIS AND CLARK

WINDOW STOREFRONT WINDOW THAT

SAYS, "JACKIE KASHIAN PUTS OUT

FOR PELTS."

(LAUGHTER)

I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I LOVE