Jackie Kashian: SEE I WILL
HANG OUT WITH ALMOST ANYONE,
I MEAN, THAT'S WHERE IT COMES
RIGHT DOWN TO.
I'M A GOOD SPORT ABOUT THE WHOLE
HANGIN' OUT.
I WILL HANG--
I DO DRAW THE LINE, AND IT'S
A VERY SERIOUS LINE IN THE SAND.
VERY FAR DOWN THE ROAD,
BUT DRAWN IT IS.
AND IT'S RIGHT BEFORE THE WAR
RE-ENACTMENT GUYS.
THAT MAKES ME THE NICEST PERSON
ON THE PLANET.
'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW
HOW FAR INTO THE DORK FOREST
YOU GOT TO GO TO GET TO THE WAR
REENACTMENT GUYS.
PRETTY DEEP!
YOU HAVE TO GO LIKE BY
THE BEANIE BABY PEOPLE AND
THE STAR WARS GUYS, AND THE
RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL FREAKS,
AND THE POKEMON KIDS.
YOU HAVE TO GO BY HARRY POTTER
HIMSELF TO GET TO THE WAR
REENACTMENT GUYS, WHO I WILL NOT
HANG OUT WITH ANY MORE.
HOW SAD IS THAT.
(LAUGHTER)
'CAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS SAYIN'
STUFF LIKE, "EVERY WEEKEND,
I JUST EAT HARD TACK WITH
WEEVILS IN IT 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT
IT WAS REALLY LIKE DURING THE
REVOLUTIONARY WAR."
HUM--
I'LL BE OVER HERE.
"AND NO GIRLS ALLOWED.
YOU CAN'T PLAY."
"I DON'T WANT TO PLAY."
"STILL, NO GIRLS ALLOWED."
"STILL DO NOT WISH TO PLAY."
SWEAR TO GOD, THE GUY GOES,
"WELL, MAYBE YOU COULD PLAY.
MAYBE YOU COULD BE A PIONEER
PROSTITUTE.
THEY HAD THEM, THEY CALLED THEM
'CAMP FOLLOWERS'."
IT TURNS OUT THAT I DO NOT WISH
TO BE A PIONEER PROSTITUTE.
I DON'T WANT THERE TO BE A SIGN
IN THE FAKE LEWIS AND CLARK
WINDOW STOREFRONT WINDOW THAT
SAYS, "JACKIE KASHIAN PUTS OUT
FOR PELTS."
(LAUGHTER)
I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I LOVE