Alex Koll - Five Second Rule

Season 4, Ep 0408 12/11/2009 Views: 1,743

What do you do when you're making love to your lady and she falls out of bed? You do what you gotta do. (2:47)


Yeah! Yeah!You know what I'm talking about.

I love Prince.

I think he's an amazing artist,

but, my-- okay, my favorite songis "1999."

And I love it, but it's alsokind of confusing,

because those of youthat don't know--

that first line of the songsays,

"I was dreamingwhen I wrote this,

Forgive me if I go astray."

And then Prince more or lessstays on a linear thought

the entire restof the song.(laughter)

There is no astray.

That's false advertising,Prince.

Plus, it's not weird.

Anybody here not have dreamsthat are totally weird

all the time, like me?

So I've rewritten itfor you guys.

Uh, and now it goes like this.

♪ I was dreamingwhen I wrote this ♪

♪ Forgive me if it goes astray

♪ Bu-bu, bu-du-du

♪ I was fightinggiant lobsters ♪

♪ In an area above my house (laughter)

♪ Both my handsare chocolate sharks ♪

♪ And some guy I knewfrom high school ♪

♪ Handed me a cakeand then left ♪(laughter)

♪ Why does Mom looklike Patti LaBelle? ♪

♪ And then it getsall kind of fuzzy ♪

♪ And I think the whole thingended with ants ♪

♪ And when I wake up,my bed is wet... ♪(laughter)

'Cause I sweat, guys,come on...(laughter)

when I orgasm.

It's this weird combo move.(laughter)

I can't break the cycle.It's weird.

We have had a lot of laughshere so far,

haven't we, guys?

Yeah.(cheering and applause)

But you know what,you know what?

If I could get-- if I could getserious with you guys

just for a moment.


Come on, serious faces.

You're blowing it, guys.

Come on.(laughter)

I think you have to be ready

for everything that life hasto throw at you, right?

But a good example is,the other night, uh,

I was having some pretty wildsex with my lady-- again.


And she fell out of bed.

On the floor, right?

But it was cool.

I just yelled,"Five-second rule,"

and kept (bleep), you knowwhat I'm talking about?

(laughter and applause)

That's my advice to you.

Watch out for that.