Maria Bamford - Office Drama

  • Season 1 , Ep 1
  • 01/08/2010
  • Views: 38,101

Don't touch Donna's label maker, don't even look at it -- she bought it with her own money. (1:52)

SO I MISS THE CAMARADERIE.

I USED TO WORK AS A SECRETARY.I MISS OFFICE LIFE.

WHERE YOU WANNA GO FOR LUNCH?WHAT DO YOU WANNA GET FOR LUNCH?

WHERE YOU WANNA GO FOR LUNCH?

I FEEL--I FEEL LIKEA SANDWICH OR SOMETHING.

UH-HUH...

OR LIKE A SALAD.

OH...

YOU KNOW, JUST SOMEPLACEWHERE I COULD GET A DIET COKE.

(shuddering breath)

WE COULD GO TO QUIZNOS!

(laughter)

YES, WE COULD.DIET PEPSI, BUT YES, WE COULD.

(laughter)

OH...

I LOVE THE DRAMAOF THE OFFICE.

DON'T TOUCH DONNA'SLABEL MAKER.

OKAY.

DON'T. DON'T EV--DON'T.

DON'T EVEN LOOK AT IT.

WHY?

BECAUSE SHE BOUGHT ITWITH HER OWN MONEY.

'NUFF SAID, SISTER.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL DONNATO KEEP HER MITTS

OFF MY FREAKINGTAPE DISPENSER.

SHE KNOWS IT'S MINE 'CAUSE IT'SCLEARLY LABELED WITH MY N--

OH.

(laughter)

WHO STOLE MY KEY-LIME PIEYOPLAIT?

DID YOU EAT MY SOUTHWESTERNSTYLE LEAN CUISINE?

(laughter)

DID YOU EATMY HALF CHOCOLATE RABBIT?

I'VE BEEN GNAWING ON ITFOR FIVE YEARS.

IT'S BASICALLY ONLY HALF A HEADWITH AN EAR

AND A BABY-BLUE RIBBONWRAPPED AROUND IT.

(laughter)

Yes.

(laughter)

OHH!

(deep voice)IT TOOK YOU TOO LONG.

I HAD TO SCRABBLE IT UPIN MY CHOPS.

(normal voice)OH, MY FAMILY LOVES ME.

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