Paul Nardizzi - Pregnancy

  • Season 1 , Ep 3
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 5,673

Paul Nardizzi has four "cordless" kids. (1:17)

THAT'S A PRETTY LONGTIME FOR ME TO HAVE

MY LEGS UP IN THE AIRWATCHING TELEVISION.

THEN THE NURSE COMES INWITH THE EPIDURAL DRUG.

I WAS LIKE, "FINALLY,MY BACK IS KILLINGME OVER HERE."

SHE'S ASKINGALL THESE QUESTIONS.

"HOW LONG HAVEYOU BEEN PUSHING?"

"20 HOURS, THERE'SNOTHING ON TONIGHT."

"IS THISYOUR FIRST ONE?"

"NO, I GOTTHREE AT HOME.

ONE BLACK AND WHITEAND TWO COLORED."

THEN THE KID WAS BORN,YOU'VE ALL SEEN THAT.

THAT'S EXCITING.

THEN THEY BRING OUT THESCISSORS FOR THE DAD,

AND YOU GOT TO CUTTHE UMBILICAL CORD.

I'M NOT GONNACUT THE CORD.

I MEAN, BABIES GET MIXEDUP AND EVEN STOLEN

OUT OF HOSPITALSALL THE TIME.

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY THEBEST WAY TO PREVENT IT.

I MEAN, WHAT BETTER WAYTO PROVE IT'S YOUR KID

THAN TO MAKE SURE IT'SSTILL CONNECTED TO YOU?

BELIEVE ME, I RAISEDFOUR CORDLESS KIDS.

THEY WERE OUT OF CONTROL.

IT'S FUN, ILIKE LITTLE KIDS.

LITTLE KIDS ARE FUN 'CAUSETHEY RELATE EVERYTHING

TO THEIR LITTLE WORLD.

HOW BIG THEY ARE.

I WAS GETTING DRESSED ONEDAY, MY KID WALKS IN.

HE'S LIKE, "WOW, DAD,YOU'VE GOT BIG PRIVATES."

"DON'T SAY THAT.

"WAIT 'TIL WE'RE OUTSIDE SOEVERYBODY ELSE CAN HEAR YA.

"YEAH, AND TRY TO USEYOUR HANDS WHEN YOU TALK,

"AND SPREAD THEM OUTAS FAR AS YOU CAN,

"AND, UH, DON'T SAY BIG.

GO WITH THE PHRASE'OF MYTHICAL PROPORTIONS.'"

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