Maria Bamford - Breast Implants

  • Season 5 , Ep 2
  • 07/01/2001
  • Views: 29,126

Maria Bamford's 32AA breasts are rare, exquisite miniatures. (2:05)

TO HAVE YOUR OWN MAGAZINE WHERE

YOU'RE IN EVERY PICTURE, LOOKING

SUPERFINE, AND EVERY ARTICLE IS

ASKING YOU HOW YOU CAN POSSIBLY

MAINTAIN YOUR PERFECT 32 AA

32 INCH WAIST.

(LAUGHTER)

32 AA, CAN I GET A WITNESS FORM

MY GIRLFRIENDS IN JAPAN, COME

ON.

(LAUGHTER)

YEAH, IT IS TRUE ABOUT THE

32 AA.

THERE EXQUISITE RARE MINIATURES.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

I ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING

BREASTS IMPLANTS, BECAUSE I AM A

RADICAL MILITANT FEMINIST AND A

HYPOCRITE IT TURNS OUT.

(LAUGHTER)

LIKE MY NEIGHBOR, SHE HAS THEM

AND, BUT SHE HAS THEM FOR WORK

BECAUSE SHE'S IN PORN.

I USE TO LOOK DOWN ON THAT

STUFF.

YOU KNOW?

BUT I REALIZED I'M JUST JEALOUS

BECAUSE NO ONE HAS EVER OFFERED

ME MONEY TO HAVE SEX.

SURE LIKE A BUD LIGHT AND A

BASKET OF CURLY FRIES,

BUT NOT CASH.

THAT HURTS.

(LAUGHTER)

THERE'S ALSO LIKE THESE

DOCUMENTARIES ON TV WHERE

THEY'LL HAVE SOME WOMAN NAMED

JUICE BOX SAYING HOW GREAT

THE SEX INDUSTRY IS.

"I WASN'T ABUSED AS A CHILD,

I DON'T DO DRUGS, I JUST LOVE

SEX.

I'M JUST A VERY SEXUAL PERSON.

AND WORKING IN AN UNREGULATED

INDUSTRY THAT PROVIDES NO LEGAL

RECOURSE SHOULD I BE REPEATEDLY

VICTIMIZED, GOD IT MAKES ME FEEL

HOT.

(LAUGHTER)

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