Sheryl Underwood - Advice for Ladies

  • Season 7 , Ep 16
  • 05/29/2003
  • Views: 10,347

Sheryl teaches women how to take care of themselves. (2:31)

ENEMY.

SEE EVERY WOMAN AIN'T YO FRIEND.

AND I DON'T CARE WHAT COLOR YOU

ARE BUT YOU BETTER LEARN THIS;

EVERY WOMAN AIN'T YO FRIEND.

SO FIRST OF ALL, STOP TELLIN'

ALL YO DAMN BUSINESS.

SHUT YA MOUTH.

I KNOW YOU EXCITED ABOUT MEETING

A MAN, BUT NEVER LET A WOMAN

IN YO HOUSE.

SISTER, GRANDMA, AVON LADY,

JEHOVAH'S WITNESS.

DO NOT LET A WOMAN IN YO HOUSE.

[LAUGHTER]

SEE, IT'S NOT A STRANGER

THAT'S GONNA TRY TO GET YO MAN.

IT'S THE PERSON SITTIN' RIGHT

NEXT TO YA THAT'S GONE WATCH

AND STUDY.

THIS IS THE GIRL THAT, SHE JUST

NOT GONE WALK UP TO YO HOUSE,

SHE GONE TRY TO SNEAK HER WAY

IN.

SHE GONNA SAY, "GIRL LET ME

BRING BACK THEM BROWN SHOES

I BORROW."

YOU TELL HER, "THROW THEM SHOES

IN THE YARD AND KEEP ROLLIN'

'CAUSE YOU AIN'T COMING UP IN

HERE."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NOW, LADIES, YOU WANNA GET WITH

A MAN, FIX YOURSELF UP.

WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NEED

TO DO?

EXFOLIATE.

SCRAPE THE DEAD SKIN OFF

YO BODY.

'CAUSE SOMETIMES YOU THINK

YOU CLEAN AND YOU AIN'T CLEAN.

WASH ALL OF YOUR ASS.

LOTION ALL OF YO ASS.

DON'T JUST LOTION WHAT'S HANGING

OUT THE PANTS LEG AND HANGING

OUT THE SLEEVE.

DRINK WATER AND CRANBERRY JUICE.

WHY?

IF YO URINE, PEE OR SWEAT SMELLS

STRONGER THAN AMMONIA, PINE SOL,

OR MR. CLEAN, YOU ARE NASTY.

[LAUGHTER]

STOP SMOKING.

MOST MEN DO NOT LIKE WOMEN

THAT SMOKE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THEY WILL TOLERATE IT,

BUT THEY DON'T LIKE IT.

BUT WE DON'T REALLY GIVE A DAMN

WHAT A MAN THINK.

THINK ABOUT YOUR HEATH.

WE NEED EVERY WOMAN ON THIS

EARTH.

WHY?

'CAUSE WE GET ENERGY FROM

EACH OTHER.

I DON'T CARE WHAT COLOR YOU ARE,

IF YOU'RE A GOOD WOMAN YOU SEND

ENERGY TO ANOTHER GOOD WOMAN.

SO I NEED YA HEALTHY.

SO PUT THEM DAMN CIGARETTES

DOWN.

YOU GO TO LEARN HOW TO TAKE CARE

OF YOURSELF AND YOUR BODY.

LEARN HOW TO HOLD YOUR LIQUEUR.

[LAUGHTER]

WHY?

A MAN WANT A WOMAN WHO CARRY

HERSELF LIKE A LADY AT ALL TIME.

MEN WANT A WOMAN THEY CAN WALK

DOWN THE STREET, MEN THEY DON'T

EVEN KNOW, GO, "THAT'S YO

WOMAN?"

"YEAH, THAT'S ME."

HE DON'T WANT NO WOMAN HE GOTTA

EXPLAIN STUFF ABOUT TO EVERYBODY

HE MEET WHILE HE WALKING DOWN

THE STREET.

HE DON'T MIND IF YOU HAVE

A GLASS OF WINE, OR A BEER,

OR A SHOT OF TEQUILA.

BUT WHAT HE DON'T WANT IS A

DRUNK WOMAN IN A PARKING LOT

GOING, I PEED ON MYSELF.

[LAUGHTER]

I DID.

I DID.

I PEED ON MYSELF.

[LAUGHTER]

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