SO I'M GONNA USE THIS LOOPING MACHINE TO HELP ME TELL IT.

WHAT HAPPENED WAS I BROUGHT THIS CHICK BACK TO MY APARTMENT

WITH THE INTENTON SEDUCIN HER,

SO I PUT ON SOME MUSIC, RIGHT, IT WAS LIKE [MUSIC BEAT],

[LOOPING MACHINE REPEATS MUSIC] THAT KIND OF THING, RIGHT?

AND WE START HOOKING IT UP. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

IT WAS LIKE[RECORDING FUNKY SOUNDS]

THAT KIND OF HOOK UP.

- NASTY.- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND I WAS THINKING TO MYSELF,[RECORDING] "OH, YEAH."

'CAUSE IT'S GOING GOOD, RIGHT?

NOW, I DON'T WANT TO BRAG. BUT IT STARTED GETTING

HOT AND HEAVY. LIKE REALLY HOT AND HEAVY, LIKE

[RECORDING] HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH-HAH, HAH, HAH.

LIKE OH, YEAH

HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH-HAH, HAH, HAH

LIKE OH YEAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH-HAH, HAH, LIKE--

ALL OF A SUDDEN THIS CHICK STARTS BAWLING CRYING.

CRYING IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.

SO I WAS LIKE, "WHAT'S WRONG?"

AND SHE GOES, [SOBBING] "NOTHING."

SO I WAS LIKE, "COOL."[TURNS MUSIC ON] OH YEAH

LIKE, OH YEAH

- LIKE, OH YEAH... - [LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

[MUSIC STOPS]

BUT SHE KEPT CRYING, YOU KNOW, SO I HAD TO STOP.

OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WAS WRONG. SO, YOU KNOW

I JUST PATTED HER HEAD TILL SHE FELL ASLEEP.

NOW I'M LOOKING AT THIS UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN AND I'M THINKING

OH YEAH LIKE, OH YEAH

BUT THAT'S WRONG, TOO. SO I JUST GOT UP.

AND I MADE MYSELF PANCAKES. I WAS GUARANTEED TO GET LAID

NOW I'M MAKING MYSELF PANCAKES, HOW PATHETIC IS THAT?

BUT I TRIED AND THEY'RE ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD. I WAS LIKE

OH YEAH

LIKE, OH YEAH

- [MUSIC STOPS] - [LAUGHTER]

IT'S A REALLY LAME STORY WITHOUTTHAT LOOP, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

SO, A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK I'M LAZY