SO I'M GONNA USE THIS LOOPING MACHINE TO HELP ME TELL IT.
WHAT HAPPENED WAS I BROUGHT THIS CHICK BACK TO MY APARTMENT
WITH THE INTENTON SEDUCIN HER,
SO I PUT ON SOME MUSIC, RIGHT, IT WAS LIKE [MUSIC BEAT],
[LOOPING MACHINE REPEATS MUSIC] THAT KIND OF THING, RIGHT?
AND WE START HOOKING IT UP. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
IT WAS LIKE[RECORDING FUNKY SOUNDS]
THAT KIND OF HOOK UP.
- NASTY.- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AND I WAS THINKING TO MYSELF,[RECORDING] "OH, YEAH."
'CAUSE IT'S GOING GOOD, RIGHT?
NOW, I DON'T WANT TO BRAG. BUT IT STARTED GETTING
HOT AND HEAVY. LIKE REALLY HOT AND HEAVY, LIKE
[RECORDING] HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH-HAH, HAH, HAH.
LIKE OH, YEAH
HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH-HAH, HAH, HAH
LIKE OH YEAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH-HAH, HAH, LIKE--
ALL OF A SUDDEN THIS CHICK STARTS BAWLING CRYING.
CRYING IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.
SO I WAS LIKE, "WHAT'S WRONG?"
AND SHE GOES, [SOBBING] "NOTHING."
SO I WAS LIKE, "COOL."[TURNS MUSIC ON] OH YEAH
LIKE, OH YEAH
- LIKE, OH YEAH... - [LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]
[MUSIC STOPS]
BUT SHE KEPT CRYING, YOU KNOW, SO I HAD TO STOP.
OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WAS WRONG. SO, YOU KNOW
I JUST PATTED HER HEAD TILL SHE FELL ASLEEP.
NOW I'M LOOKING AT THIS UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN AND I'M THINKING
OH YEAH LIKE, OH YEAH
BUT THAT'S WRONG, TOO. SO I JUST GOT UP.
AND I MADE MYSELF PANCAKES. I WAS GUARANTEED TO GET LAID
NOW I'M MAKING MYSELF PANCAKES, HOW PATHETIC IS THAT?
BUT I TRIED AND THEY'RE ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD. I WAS LIKE
OH YEAH
LIKE, OH YEAH
- [MUSIC STOPS] - [LAUGHTER]
IT'S A REALLY LAME STORY WITHOUTTHAT LOOP, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
SO, A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK I'M LAZY