Frank Caliendo - Robin Williams

  • Season 8 , Ep 4
  • 02/05/2004
  • Views: 22,858

They should remake "The Wizard of Oz" with Robin Williams. (3:21)

THEY'RE REMAKING ALL KINDS OF

MOVIES.

IF I WAS GONNA REMAKE ANY

MOVIE ON EARTH, I WOULD REMAKE

THE WIZARD OF OZ WITH

ROBIN WILLIAMS, AND THAT'S IT.

[LAUGHTER]

JUST LET HIM DO THE WHOLE DANGER

THING BY HIMSELF.

WHY PAY ANYBODY ELSE?

SO, HERE WE GO.

THE WIZARD OF OZ STARRING

ROBIN WILLIAMS WRITTEN BY

ROBIN WILLIAMS AND DIRECTED

BY QUENTIN TARANTINO.

[LAUGHTER]

MY FAVORITE THING TO DO.

HERE WE GO.

"WHO DARES BOTHER THE OLD AND

POWERFUL WIZARD OF OZ?"

"OH, MY GOD, WHAT AN

INCREDIBLY WONDERFUL PLACE.

BUT WHO THE HELL DOES YOUR

DECORATING?"

"SILENCE."

"WHOA, TACOS FOR LUNCH, OKAY.

LISTEN.

I WAS JUST OUT IN KANSAS HAVING

IT UP WITH THE PIGS,

MAKIN' BACON.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

CLUCKING AROUND THE CHICKENS,

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

OH, MY GOSH, UNABOMER,

NEWSPAPER JOKE.

'GET ONE.

IT GETS FUNNIER, LITERACY,

IT'S A GOOD THING, OKAY.

SO THEN MY HOUSE IS UP IN

THE AIR, IT'S SPINNING AROUND

LIKE BARYSHNIKOV ON

AMPHETAMINES, I DON'T CARE IF

YOU LAUGH AT THAT JOKE, I DID IT

JUST FOR ME.

I LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW,

THERE'S A LITTLE WICKED WITCH

ON A HOOVER VACUUM CLEANER

GOING, 'I'LL GET YOU,

MY PRETTY, AND YOUR LITTLE DOG

TOTO, TOO.'

I SAID, 'LADY, I DON'T HAVE

BUT IF I DID, I'D GIVE HIM

TO YOU, 'CAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE

YOU NEED A DANGER FRIEND.'

SO, THEN THE HOUSE LANDED.

OH, NO.

I'VE LANDED ON RONALD MCDONALD.

[LAUGHTER]

HE'S WEARING A PAIR OF

MARV ALBERT SHOES.

NOW IT LOOKS LIKE A GOOD TIME

FOR THE GREAT TASTE--

YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THE LITTLE

PEOPLE, LIKE, 'FOLLOW THE

WHO WAS MADE WHO'S MADE OF

I SAID, "HEY, MAN--

WHOA, HEY MAN, STRAW--

THAT'S A JOKE RIGHT THERE.

STUFF, JOHN MADDEN'S COMING

BACK TO EXPLAIN IT.

'SEE, THE GUY--

WHAT HAPPENED WAS, IS--

IS-- YOU KNOW, IT'S--

OVER HERE, IS PART OF THE JOKE

AND THE REFERENCE OVER THERE,

AND THEN BOOM, THAT'S WHERE

IT IS IN THE MIDDLE.'

OKAY, I'M BACK.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA--

THERE'S STILL SOME PEOPLE IN

HERE GOING, 'WHO THE HELL IS

JOHN MADDEN?'

'WHY IS THIS JACKASS DRAWING

CIRCLES IN THE AIR?

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST CRAP

I'VE SEEN ALL NIGHT.

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

BUY SOME PROPS.

I HATE MIME.

MIME IS FOR LOSERS.

APPARENTLY, I DON'T EVEN HAVE

A CIGARETTE HERE.

I CAN EXPLAIN THIS.

I HAVE CARPAL TUNNELS.

IN THE '60s, I WAS ALWAYS SAYING

'PEACE.'

IN THE '70s, I WAS A HAND MODEL

FOR THE INTERNATIONAL SYMBOL OF

SCISSORS.

AND IN THE '80s, I WAS ALWAYS

DOING LITTLE BUNNY FOO FOO.'

♪ LITTLE BUNNY FOO FOO

♪ HOP INTO THE FOREST

♪ PICKING UP THE FIELD MICE

♪ AND-- BOOM!--

♪ BOPPING 'EM ON THE HEAD

[LAUGHTER]

ROBERT DENIRO WAS IN A MOVIE

MARY SHELLEY'S "FRANKENSTEIN.

HE PLAYED THE FRANKENSTEIN

MONSTER.

YOU PICTURING THAT?

[LAUGHTER]

"LOOK AT ME, HUH?

I AM THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER.

I GOT BOLTS ON ME IN MY NECK.

I'M ELECTRIC AND SCARY.

WHOO.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

DO NOT BRING THAT FIRE NEAR

ME."

KEANU REEVES WAS IN A DRACULA

MOVIE.

HE DIDN'T PLAY DRACULA,

THOUGH.

THANK GOD.

HE'D BE TRYING TO SCARE YOU,

YOU'D BE LAUGHING YOUR ASS

OFF.

KEANU REEVES COMING OUT OF

THE COFFIN.

TRY NOT TO LAUGH AT THAT,

SHOWS UP.

[LAUGHTER]

"I AM KEANU DRACULA.

DAMN.

COUNT DRACULA LIKE THE CEREAL.

I BROUGHT MY FRIEND IGOR

WITH ME, IGOR.

TELL THESE PEOPLE WHAT YOU

TOLD ME."

[LAUGHTER]

"I AM THE KEY MASTER.

ARE YOU THE GATEKEEPER?

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

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