Uncensored - Junior Stopka - Craigslist Murder

Ali Wong, Junior Stopka, Jimmy Shubert Season 1, Ep 7 05/25/2014 Views: 13,568

Buying something on Craigslist is a dangerous proposition for Junior Stopka. (1:47)

All right,I'll do this."

I got a coffee tableon the Craigslist.

That's right, I won.

I don't know if you actuallybeen on Craigslist and actually

been over to somebody's house,but uh, but when you get there,

both parties thinkthey're gonna be murdered.

So what you gotta do is yougotta try to out-murder

the murderer.

You gotta be smart,gotta be coy.

You know, I senthim my e-mail.

I'm like, "I likecoffee tables."

Smiley face.

That'll get him.

Then you open the door and yousee my face and you're like,

"Oh...

Here's my murder."

But I'm nervous too.

I'm like, don't murderme either, you know?

I brought a knife justin case you got a knife.

You got a knife?

"Yeah, I got a knife!"

(Vocalizing)

I'm like, ah, Jesus.

All right, this is what--let's just both raise our

knives, okay?All right?

One hand onthe coffee table.

All right, you got it?All right.

Count of three.

One, two and then you slither throat because you gotta

murder women,fellas, right?

With a knife, right?Everybody knows that.

Come on.

Ron Paul!

Ron Paul!

Ron! Ron!

Ron!