I don't know.
I... like, I have fourblack friends right now.
That's the bestI've ever done, and, um...
Uh, that's two of 'emright there,
and, uh, you know...
All my black friends tell meI'm the whitest guy they know,
which, I'm not surewhat that means.
Uh, I guess 'cause I saywords like "skedaddle"?
I don't know. Um...
I get that all the time.
But maybe I am super white.
But I thinkthe whitest thing about me
is the fact thatafter I get a haircut,
I like to leave the barbershop.
Don't really see the need
for all the hanging around,you know?
You guys don't do thatat a dentist's office.
"Whew! That was a hellof a root canal.
Now I'm gonna go sit in thelobby for four hours. Yeah."
And I know some people are like,
"Hey, buddy,that's a stereotype."
Well, they made three moviesabout it, so you figure it out.
I don't know. I'm learning a lotfrom my black friends.
I'm learning black guysdon't get offended by much.
It's only white peopleon behalf of black people,
which is very condescending,you know?
Like, uh, I wasat a party recently.
I was talking to a friendof mine, black guy,
had a couple beers in me.
And I was like,"Hey, man, I gotta ask you.
What's up with the whole'no swimming' stereotype?"
And my friend was like,
"Yeah, we just grew upin the inner city.
"We didn't have a pool around,
we didn't have a lake to go to."
I was like, "Oh, now I know."
And this guy at the party goes,"Hey, man.
That was ignorant."
I was like, "Yeah, that'swhy I asked the question.
"Now I know more about it.How we gonna get anywhere
"if we can't learn shit,all right?
"You're mad at me for tryingto learn about another culture?
Screw you!"What does this guy do,
just walk intoan African studies class like,
"You guys all make me sick!"Right?
Just trying to learn.
Just 'cause somethingmakes you feel uncomfortable
for four secondsdoesn't mean it's a bad thing.
If we did that with everything,we wouldn't learn anything.
You know,your dad's like, "Hey, son,
I'm gonna teach youabout the birds and the bees."
"Uh, that makes meuncomfortable, Dad.
"Look, I know girls peeout of their butts
and we'll leave it at that."