Macaulay Culkin, Avril Lavigne, "The Expendables 2" & Penn State

  • Season 1, Ep 3
  • 08/28/2012
  • Views: 18,972

Jeff Ross congratulates Macaulay Culkin on his birthday and Avril Lavigne on her engagement, burns some unemployables and notes Penn State's party school status. (2:03)

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT LET'S START WITH BURN

SHOUT OUTS.

MC CALLY CALKIN TURNS THAT THIS

WEEK, POUNDS.

OH , MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED?

[APPLAUSE].

HE LOOKS LIKE FUNERAL HOME

ALONE.

[LAUGHTER].

HE IS MOST FAME US AS A CHILD

ACTOR FIGHTING OFF 2 INTRUDERS

MICHAEL JACKSON'S MIDDLE AND

INDEX FINGERS.

IT COME FROM LOVE.

PEOPLE.

OF COURSE A BIG HEY TO ABRIL

WHO GOT ENGAGED TO LEAD SINGER

OF NICKEL BACK.

I'D SAY THEY MAKE BEAUTIFUL

MUSIC BUT WHY SHOULD THEY START

NOW?

[LAUGHTER].

ALL RIGHT.

SPEAKING OF UNTALENTED PEOPLE

TEAMING UP LAST WEEK THE

EXPENDABLES 2 OPENED HUGE.

I COULDN'T RESIST SWINGING BY

MY LOCAL MOVIE THEATRE 3

AFTERNOON TO BURN

UNEMPLOYABLES.

HOW STONED ARE YOU NOW?

BARELY.

>> LOOK AT YOU GUYS, WHAT ARE

YOU IN DAY CAMP.

SIR, I LOVED YOU IN THE

EXPENDABLES.

[LAUGHTER].

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

SAW AN AD THEY WILL HAVE THE

FIGHT OF THEIR LIFE AGAINST

WHAT, PROSTATE CANCER.

YOU ARE IN BETTER SHAPE THAN

THE OLD GUYS.

[LAUGHTER] HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE

GOING BACK TO SCHOOL SOON?

[APPLAUSE] PENN STATE

UNIVERSITY WAS NAMED THE

SEVENTH BIGGEST PARTY SCHOOL IN

THE NATION.

WHICH BEGS THE QUESTION, WHAT

KIND MUCH CRAZY -- GOES ON IN

THE SCHOOLS

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