Roman's Empire

  • Season 1 , Ep 6
  • 02/20/2013
  • Views: 8,582

After Dr. Armond and his wife divorce, his son Roman becomes man of the house and stops listening to his mother. (2:48)

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- HI, I'M ROMAN.

MY FATHER DR. ARMOND

IS THE MOST SUCCESSFULANIMAL PLASTIC SURGEON

IN LOS ANGELES.

- WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO

IS TAKE IN THE STOMACH.

- HIS FRIENDS LIZ AND LIZHELPED HIM

GET HIS OWN REALITY SHOW,AND THAT REALITY SHOW

DESTROYED HIS MARRIAGE.- I WANT A DIVORCE.

- ♪ SAY WHAT

- MY DAD MOVED OUT, AND NOWIT'S JUST ME AND MY MOM.

SO I'M THE MAN OF THE HOUSE,

AND NOW I'M HAVINGTHE TIME OF MY LIFE.

- ♪ SAY WHAT

- UH-OH,C-CZAR, ROMAN.

TAKING,TAKING OVER THIS JOINT.

- C-CZAR.- MM.

- YEAH, C-CZAR'S,LIKE, MY BEST FRIEND.

HE'S, LIKE, COOLERTHAN ALL THE COOL KIDS

AT SCHOOL.

YOU KNOW, HE SMOKES WEED,HE DRINKS 40s,

HE GOT A LIP RING,AND HE STEALS STUFF.

- LET'S GET LIFTED.LET'S GET LIFTED.

- YEAH, BUT LET'S DO IT OUTSIDE,THOUGH.

WE CAN'T SMOKEIN HERE, THOUGH.

REMEMBER?- [bleep] ALREADY LIT, B.

IT'S GONNA SMELL UPEITHER WAY.

YOUR MOM COMES HOME,YOU BE LIKE,

"BITCH, I'M THE MANOF THE HOUSE NOW.

COOK ME A STEAK,MEDIUM-RARE."

- YEAH, YEAH, YOU RIGHT.YEAH, YOU RIGHT.

YOU AIN'T NEVER LIE.- ROMAN!

ROMAN, ARE YOU SMOKINGIN THIS HOUSE?

- WE'RE JUST--WE AIN'T MESSINGANYTHING UP.

- AND THERE'S NO SKATEBOARDINGIN THIS HOUSE.

YOU KNOW THAT.- NOTHING'S GONNA HAPPEN.

- NO CHICKEN NUGGETSFOR YOU TONIGHT.

- WHY DON'T YOU--- [gasps]

- OH, SNAP.

- OH.

- NOW WHO'S GONNA CLEANTHAT UP?

- UM...YEAH, UM...

I MEAN...

- BITCH, I'M THE MANOF THE HOUSE NOW.

COOK ME A STEAK,MEDIUM-RARE.

- MOM, WHY DON'T YOUCLEAN IT UP?

- EXCUSE ME?- COOK ME A STEAK, BITCH.

- OH, NO, ROMAN, YOU DIDN'T JUSTDISRESPECT YOUR MOM LIKE THAT.

- WHY, YOU LITTLE--GET OVER HERE.

- NO, MOM.- RIGHT NOW.

- NO! OW!- SPANKING TIME.

THAT'S RIGHT.SPANKING TIME.

- AH!

YEAH, I'M SCARED OF YOU, MOM.

I COULD PROBABLY GET YOU KILLEDIF I WANTED TO.

[sobs]

- YOU LOOK GOOD.- WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

- I'M C-CZAR.

I DON'T HAVE A MOM.

STRAIGHT UP, I BEEN, HAVE BEENWITH OLDER WOMEN BEFORE,

AND YOU LOOK GOOD TO ME.- THAT'S--THAT'S VERY RUDE.

THAT'S...

- YOU HAVEA VERY BEAUTIFUL HOME.

- UH.both: OH, YEAH.

- OH, YOU LIKE THAT?- OH, YEAH.

[moaning]- AW, YUCK!

- SIGN MY REPORT CARD.SIGN MY REPORT CARD.

- YO, YOU SALTY, DAWG.

- SORRY, C-CZAR.

YO, YOU MY SON, SON.

- WHATEVER, DAD.

- COMING UPON ROMAN'S EMPIRE...

- I'D LOVE TO FIGURE OUTSOME WAY TO CHEER UP ROMAN.

- I THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

- YEAH, MAYBE DAVE & BUSTER'S.

- OH, I LOVEDAVE & BUSTER'S.

- MM-HMM.- THEN...

- I KNOW IF I LOVEDAVE & BUSTER'S,

ROMAN WOULD LOVEDAVE & BUSTER'S.

- RIGHT. THAT WOULD BEA GREAT IDEA, SHANNON.

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