Mo Mandel - Jewish in a Weird Way

  • Season 14 , Ep 16
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 6,673

Mo Mandel's body type is somewhere between a Jew and a guy who drives by in a truck and yells, "Jew." (1:49)

YOU EVER BEEN TO A COMEDY CLUB?NOT A VERY CLASSY ENVIRONMENT.

THEY ALWAYS HAVE A TWO-DRINKMINIMUM, COMEDY CLUBS.

THEY FORCE YOU TO DRINK.

'CAUSE THEY'RE VERY INSECURETHAT THE SHOW MIGHT SUCK.

THEY'RE LIKE, "COME ON IN --THIS GUY'S HILARIOUS

AS LONG AS YOU ARE [BLEEP] UPTHE WHOLE TIME."

CAN YOU IMAGINE ANOTHER BUSINESSTRYING TO PULL THAT?

YOU GO TO A RESTAURANT.THEY'RE LIKE, "COME ON IN.

"THE FOOD'S GREAT HERE.

BEFORE YOU EAT IT,YOU GOT TO SMOKE SOME WEED."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"YEAH, WE JUST SERVE HOT POCKETSUP IN THIS BITCH.

BUT, UH, IF YOU'RE HIGH,IT DOESN'T SUCK THAT MUCH."

MY NAME IS MO MANDEL.

I'M JEWISHIN KIND OF A WEIRD WAY.

CHECK IT OUT. YEAH.

FACE AND HAIRJUST EXCESSIVELY JEWY.

WHAT'S UP?

THEN I'VE GOT, LIKE,THE MUSCULAR JOCK'S BODY, RIGHT?

KIND OF IN BETWEEN A JEW

AND A GUY WHO DRIVES BYIN A TRUCK AND YELLS, "JEW!"

[ LAUGHTER,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

A LITTLE BIT DREIDEL,

A LITTLE BIT METHAMPHETAMINERIGHT THERE.

I'LL TELL YOU, I MOVED TO L.A.THIS YEAR FROM AMERICA.

UM...

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHICH IS WEIRD, MAN.

WHEN YOU MOVE TO L.A.TO GET INTO A SHOWBIZ,

ALL YOUR FRIENDSFROM BACK HOME WARN YOU

THAT YOU'RE GONNA BECOME"SHALLOW AND SUPERFICIAL."

BUT I DON'TREALLY WORRY ABOUT IT

'CAUSE I DON'T EVEN TALKTO THOSE FRIENDS ANYMORE.

"I'M HOLLYWOOD, BITCH!I'M IN COMMERCIALS!

SUCK IT, MOM.DON'T CALL THIS NUMBER."

THAT'S ALL YOU DOAS A ACTOR IN L.A.

IS AUDITIONFOR THESE STUPID COMMERCIALS.

NOW I WATCH TV, I'M LIKE JEALOUSOF THE GUY IN THE COMMERCIAL,

LIKE, "AAH! I WISHI HAD ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION!

LOOK AT THIS."

[ LAUGHTER,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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