Scott Kennedy - Changing Religions

  • Season 8, Ep 28
  • 06/10/2004
  • Views: 1,853

Buddha is a lot happier than some other religious icons. (1:51)

AND I AM SINGLE, BY THE WAY.

THAT MAY FREAK SOME OF Y'ALL

OUT.

Audience Member: WHEW!

Scott Kennedy: LOOK, THERE'S

SOME--

REALLY?

YEAH.

A CATCH LIKE ME STILL ON THE

MARKET.

OH, MY GOD, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

I KNOW WHY 'CAUSE I'M PICKY.

I WANT A GUY WHO CAN THROW A

FOOTBALL, AND A TANTRUM.

AND THAT IS A HARD COMBINATION,

FOLKS.

I DON'T CARE...

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

HOW YOU PUT IT.

MY LITTLE BROTHER'S VERY, VERY

SUPPORTIVE.

HE'S LIKE "YOU'LL FIND

SOMEBODY," MY LITTLE BROTHER.

THIS FREAKS ME OUT, WHEN I EVEN

SAY IT.

HE'S A PHYSICIAN.

MY LITTLE BROTHER'S A MEDICAL

DOCTOR.

IT STILL FREAKS ME OUT TO EVEN

THINK OF THAT.

HE'S MY LITTLE BROTHER.

THE BEST PART OF IT, I JUST TELL

HIM TO PHONE ME IN

PRESCRIPTIONS, AND HE WILL.

[LAUGHTER]

I SWEAR, 'CAUSE HE'S MY LITTLE

BROTHER.

AND THE FIRST TIME, THOUGH,

HE DID QUESTION.

HE GOES, "WHY DO YOU NEED

XANAX?"

I GO, "SO I DON'T KICK THE CRAP

OUT OF YOU.

HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH?"

[LAUGHTER]

MY GOD.

WE GREW UP TOGETHER.

GREW UP IN TEXAS, SOUTHERN

BAPTIST.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

TH-- YOU DON'T HAVE TO APPLAUD

FOR THAT.

IT'S OUR PARENTS' THING.

IT REALLY WASN'T OURS.

I'VE ALWAYS CONSIDERED MYSELF

A CHRISTIAN.

NOT-- YOU KNOW, A GOOD

CHRISTIAN,

I GUESS.

IF-- CATHOLICS ARE GOOD

CATHOLICS.

I'VE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT

CHANGING RELIGION.

IT'S NEVER EVEN CROSSED MY MIND,

TILL I GOT HERE TO NEW YORK.

I ATE AT AN ASIAN FOOD

RESTAURANT TODAY.

AND I WAS SITTING AT THE TABLE,

AND THERE WAS THIS LITTLE STATUE

OF BUDDHA.

"OH, MY GOD.

HE LOOKED HAPPY AND CUTE AND

FAT, AND JUST, HEY, WHAT UP?"

[LAUGHTER]

I WAS-- OH, MY GOD, 'CAUSE JESUS

IS SAD, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, I UNDERSTAND THE

CIRCUMSTANCES.

BUT STILL, I MEAN.

[LAUGHTER]

BUDDHA'S FATTER THAN ME AND JUST

SMILING.

JUST WHATEVER, JUST DO IT.

I DON'T CARE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

Loading...