Steve Byrne - Packing Heat

Steve Byrne: The Byrne Identity Season 1, Ep 0101 07/26/2010 Views: 18,136

Steve Byrne feels bad for the African American guy who goes against the stereotype. (1:56)

WHAT'S A STEREOTYPE FOR ASIANS?

ASIANS ARE GOOD AT MATH, RIGHT?

NO, THAT'S A FACT.

[cheers and applause]ASIANS ARE INCREDIBLE AT MATH.

WHY ARE ASIANS GOOD AT MATH?

GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH MATH.

GOT EVERYTHING TO DO WITHLINGUISTICS.

LANGUAGE, OKAY?

ASIANS MAKE IT EASIER TO LEARNHOW TO COUNT.

JAPAN, KOREA, CHINA, WHATEVER.

ONE THROUGH TEN,THEN TEN PLUS THE NUMBER,

TWENTY PLUS THE NUMBER,THIRTY PLUS THE NUMBER.

IT'S EASY.

HERE A KID WHO'S 4 OR 5,THEY'RE A YEAR BEHIND THE KIDS

IN ASIA, AND IT GETS WORSE ANDWORSE AS YOU GET OLDER.

THAT'S WHY WE STINK, BECAUSE WEMAKE IT SO HARD TO COUNT.

YOU LEARN ONE THROUGH TEN,AND THEN YOU TEACH YOUR KID--

"ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO I DO NOW?""WE GET INTO THE TEENS."

"OKAY, WHAT DO I DO?""JUST NUMBER PLUS 'TEEN.'"

"OKAY.

UH, ONE-TEEN."

"WOW, NO.

NOT EVEN CLOSE.

THAT'S ELEVEN."

"OH, OKAY.

TWO-TEEN."

"JEEZ.

TWELVE.

OOH."

"THREE-TEEN."

"CLOSE.

THIRTEEN."

"FOURTEEN?""YES."

"ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY. OKAY.

FIVE-TEEN."

"WRONG AGAIN."

"I'M 4!"WHAT'S ANOTHER STEREOTYPE?

BLACK GUYS ARE PACKING HEAT,RIGHT?

YOU KNOW WHO I ALWAYS FELT BADFOR?

BLACK GUY NOT PACKING HEAT.

YOU BETTER BE A GOOD SINGER.

SEE, THAT'S WHY THAT ASIANSTEREOTYPE IS NOT BAD AT ALL:

ASIAN GUYS GOT SMALL JUNK.

WHO CARES?

RUN WITH IT.

LOWERED EXPECTATIONS, RIGHT?

THAT'S A WIN-WIN.

GIRL PUTS HER HANDS DOWN THEPANTS OF AN ASIAN GUY,

"OOH, THIS IS KIND OF SMALL."

"WELL, YOU KNEW THE SCORE.

NOW, DO YOU WANT HELP WITH YOURS.A.T.s OR NOT?"

[cheers and applause]