Owen Benjamin - Mistaken for Famous

  • Season 14 , Ep 3
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 17,941

Owen Benjamin always finds New York interesting, especially when random people ask for his autograph. (3:22)

WHEN YOU COME OUT TO NEW YORK,THOUGH, IT'S TOUGH

GETTING USED TO HOW AGGRESSIVEPEOPLE ARE OUT HERE, YOU KNOW?

I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE EVERYONE'SYELLING AT ME.

IT'S LIKE, "TABLE FOR TWO?!"

I'M LIKE,"YEAH, I DID NOTHING WRONG.

I JUST WANT TO EATWITH MY FRIEND."

I WAS HERE A COUPLE WEEKS AGO.THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

I WAS COMING OUT OF A HOTEL.I WAS DOING SHOWS OUT HERE.

AND, UH, THIS OLDER GUYCOMES UP TO ME,

AND HE'S LIKE, "YO!CAN I GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH?"

AND I WAS LIKE --

I'M NOT THAT FAMOUS,SO I WAS REALLY EXCITED.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND I'M LIKE, "YES!"

AND THEN I TRIEDTO PLAY IT COOL.

I WAS LIKE...

HE WAS LIKE,"WHAT NUMBER ARE YA?"

I WAS LIKE, "NUMBER 1."

[ LAUGHTER ]

I ALREADY KNOW SOMETHING'S UP,

BUT I'M COMMITTED TO IT,SO I WRITE "NUMBER 1."

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND I PUT A SMILEY FACE.

I'M LIKE, "I'M NUMBER 1."

AND HE JUST LOOKS AT MELIKE I'M CRAZY,

AND I'M LIKE,"WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?"

HE GOES,"YOU PLAY FOR THE ROYALS."

'CAUSE I GUESS THEY WERE STAYINGAT THE SAME HOTEL AS ME.

AND I WAS LIKE, "NO, I'M NOT.

I'M NOT A MEMBER OF THE ROYALS."

AND HE SAYS --REALLY ANGRILY, HE GOES,

"THEN WHY'D YOU SIGN MY PAPER?!"

I WAS LIKE,"'CAUSE YOU ASKED ME TO."

AND HE JUST LOOKS AT MEAND GOES "[BLEEP] YOU!"

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

THAT'S THE ONLY TIME IN HISTORY

THAT SOMEONE WAS MAD AT SOMEONEFOR NOT PLAYING FOR THE ROYALS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I LIVE IN L.A.I FLEW OUT HERE.

I, UH -- I'M 29.

I, UH -- I-I FORGOT --[ LIGHT APPLAUSE ]

GIVE IT UP FOR 29.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THAT'S GREAT.IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE NUMBERS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S BEEN SO LONG.I WAS GOING THROUGH THE AIRPORT.

AND I DON'T GET I.D.'d AT BARSANYMORE,

AND I FORGOT WHAT TO DO WITHMY FACE WHEN SOMEONE I.D.'s ME.

IT'S CALLED "I.D. FACE."YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

THAT JUDGMENTAL MOMENTWHEN SOMEONE LOOKS AT YOU

TO SEE IF IT'S REALLY YOU.

THEY'RE LIKE,"CAN I SEE SOME I.D.?"

I'M LIKE, "HERE."THEY LOOK.

I'M LIKE...

[ LAUGHTER ]

LIKE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

THE WOMEN IN NEW YORKARE BEAUTIFUL.

THEY'RE SO -- YOU GUYSARE VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN.

L.A., THEY'RE PRETTY.

BUT THERE'S A LOT -- I MEAN,I'M NOT AGAINST FAKE BREASTS,

BUT THERE'S A LOTOF FAKE BREASTS IN L.A.,

AND IT'S A LITTLE CRAZY.

I PREFER THE NATURAL VIBE,YOU KNOW,

THAT NEW YORK SEEMS TO HAVE.

AND, UH -- WHICH I LIKE.IT'S MORE ATTRACTIVE.

BUT THE THING ABOUT FAKE BOOBSTHAT ALWAYS BOTHERED ME

IS, UH, LIKE THEY GETTHESE HUGE FAKE BOOBS,

AND THEN THEY GET MADIF YOU LOOK AT THEM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S LIKETHESE UNNATURALLY GIANT BOOBS.

YOU LOOK AT THEM.

COULD YOU IMAGINEIF THAT HAPPENED TO A GUY,

IF I GOT GIANT FAKE BALLS?

AND I'M JUST WALKING AROUND.

I'M LIKE, "UP HERE.I'M A HUMAN BEING.

"DON'T LOOK AT MY $20,000 BALLS.

"NO, DON'T LOOKAT THIS WHOLE AREA.

IT'S MINE.THAT'S NOT WHO I AM."

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHAT?

GIANT BALLS.

THAT JUST MADE ME LAUGHFOR SOME REASON.

BIG, FAKE BALLS.

UM...

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