Uncensored - Neal Brennan - D**k Salesmen

Neal Brennan: Women and Black Dudes Season 1, Ep 101 01/18/2014 Views: 12,763

Since men don't get to be choosy, Neal Brennan doesn't bother having a type. (2:02)

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Brennan: YEAH, SO, FELLAS,YOU KNOW, WE GOT TO EMPATHIZE.

EMPATHIZE WITH YOUR GIRL.TELL HER SHE'S CUTE.

SHE'LL BE LIKE, "OH, I WASN'TEVEN THINKING ABOUT IT."

SHE WAS THINKING ABOUT IT.

[ Singsong voice ] "SELFIE!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ Normal voice ]AND THEN, LADIES,

WE NEED EMPATHYIN A WHOLE NOTHER DIRECTION

'CAUSE I DON'T THINKYOU UNDERSTAND

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A DUDE.

'CAUSE I HAD A GIRLRECENTLY ASK ME --

SHE GOES, "WHAT'S YOUR TYPE?"

I WAS LIKE,"I DON'T REALLY HAVE A TYPE,"

AND SHE GOES, "WHY NOT?"

AND I GO, "UM,'CAUSE I NEVER GET TO PICK."

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S NEVER UP TO THE GUY.

IT'S UP TO THE GIRL.GIRLS ARE THE BUYERS.

MEN ARE THE SELLERS.

BASICALLY, ME AND EVERY GUYIN HERE ARE PRETTY MUCH...

DICK SALESMEN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M A USED DICK SALESMAN.

[ GRUNTS ]

[ GRUNTING ]

[ LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE ]

NO PAYMENTS TILL JUNE.

[ GRUNTS ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

LOW MILES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

LEAKS A LITTLE BITIN THE SUMMER.

[ GRUNTS ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

I JUST GOT TURNED DOWN BYTHREE WOMEN IN LIKE 10 SECONDS.

AS A GUY, IT'S ABOUT AVERAGE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BASICALLY, A GUY'S ENTIRE LIFEIS JUST LIKE [GRUNTING]

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND THEN WE DIE.

THAT'S WHAT OUR LIFE IS.

AT A PARTY, IT'S BASICALLYA GUY'S LIKE [GRUNTS]

AND A GIRL'S LIKE,"I'M FREEZING!"

[ GRUNTS ]

[ MOANS ]

[ GRUNTS ]

[ MOANS ]

[ GRUNTS ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ LAUGHS ]

[ GRUNTING ]