Eugene Mirman - Found iPod

  • Season 12 , Ep 7
  • 01/31/2008
  • Views: 9,165

It was so nice of Eugene to return that iPod to the person who lost it. (1:43)

AT FIDELITY WITH THE--THEY SELL THE MONEY.

AND I USED TOANSWER THEIR PHONES,BUT I'D ANSWER THEM

IN MY MOVIE PHONE VOICE.SO, I'D BE LIKE,

"WELCOME TO FIDELITY.THIS IS EUGENE MIRMAN.

- HOW CAN I HELP YOU?"- [LAUGHTER]

AND I HEARD THIS WOMAN GO,"OH, ANOTHER MACHINE."

[LAUGHTER AND OH'S]

AND I WENT,"I AM NOT A MACHINE!"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND SHE WAS LIKE,"[BLEEP], ROBOTS ARE ALIVE!"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I FOUND AN iPOD IN A CABAND I CALLED APPLE

TO RETURN IT TO THE PERSON.AND APPLE WOULDN'T GIVE ME

HIS INFORMATION'CAUSE WHAT IF I RAPE 'EM?

[LAUGHTER]

- THAT WAS THEIR TONE.- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SO I GAVE THEM MINE.AND A FEW DAYS LATER

THE GUY CALLED ME. ANDHE WAS LIKE, "THAT'S SO NICE."

AND I'M LIKE,"YOU KNOW, NO PROBLEM."

HE'S LIKE,"NO, IT'S REALLY NICE."AND THE TRUTH IS, IT IS.

IT WAS A PRETTY NICETHING I DID.

IT'S PROBABLY THENICEST THING ANYONE'S DONE

SINCE THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD.

[LAUGHTER]

SO I WAS LIKE,"YOU KNOW NO PROBLEM.

JUST COME MEET ME IN THE CITYAND I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR iPOD."

AND THEN WHEN I--WHEN I GOT OFF THE PHONE

I JUST WANTED TO CALL 'EMRIGHT BACK AND BE LIKE,

"THE PLAN'S HAVE CHANGED."AND GIVE 'EM A RUNAROUND.

JUST BE LIKE, "I SAID NO COPS!"

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