Hari Kondabolu - We're Screwed

  • Season 15 , Ep 7
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 12,449

Some corporations are treating the planet like we're in second semester senior year. (2:41)

SO, AS I WAS EXITING MYAPARTMENT THIS EVENING

I SAW PARKED OUT IN FRONT,A HYBRID ESCALADE.

A HYBRID ESCALADE.

COME TO TERMSWITH THAT REALITY.

WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE AREBUYING A HYBRID ESCALADE?

"WELL, YOU SEE,I'M AN ENVIRONMENTALIST,

"AND MY HUSBAND'SA [deleted] DOUCHE BAG.

"AND THIS IS HOWWE COMPROMISE

"TO KEEP OUR SHAMMARRIAGE ALIVE."

[audience applauding]

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW--I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

I-I-I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCHPEOPLE ARE WILLING TO CONCEDE

TO SAVE THE PLANET.

LIKE RECENTLY THERE WAS ASTORY ABOUT "SUN CHIPS," RIGHT?

"SUN CHIPS" HADBIO-DEGRADABLE BAGS.

AMAZING, RIGHT?

LIKE CORPORATERESPONSIBILITY.

IT SHOWS THEY'RE--THEY WANT TO SAVE THE PLANET.

FANTASTIC.

BUT THEN PEOPLESTARTED COMPLAINING

THAT THE BAGSWERE TOO NOISY.

SO THEN THEY GOT RIDOF THE BIO-DEGRADABLE BAGS.

DO YOU KNOW WHATELSE MAKES A LOT NOISE?

THE END OF THE WORLD!

WHAT THE HELL ISWRONG WITH EVERYBODY?

[audience applauding]

I DON'T KNOW--I WAS ON A PLANE RECENTLY.

I WAS READINGTHE-THE IN-FLIGHT MAGAZINE.

THE IN-FLIGHT MAGAZINEFOR THAT PARTICULAR TRIP

WAS AN ENVIRONMENTALISSUE-- YEAH.

I WAS READING ABOUTTHE ENVIRONMENT

WHILE SITTING ON A POLLUTIONMACHINE THAT CAN FLY.

SO I'M CLEARLY CYNICAL,BUT I'M BORED,

SO I'M READING THE, UH,THE FIRST ARTICLE.

THE FIRST ARTICLE'S CALLED,"TOP TEN ENDANGERED PLACES."

HERE'S THEFIRST SENTENCE...

"CLIMATE CHANGE AND TOURISMARE THREATENING TO DESTROY

"THESE NATURAL WONDERS."

OKAY, I'M KINDOF SURPRISED HERE.

CLEARLY, TOURISM ISIN THE BEST INTEREST

OF THE AIRLINE INDUSTRY--YEAH, WAY TO GO, MAN.

HERE'S SOME RESPONSIBILITY,AIRLINE.

BUT THEN I READTHE REST OF THE SENTENCE,

"CLIMATE CHANGEAND TOURISM

"ARE THREATENING TO DESTROYTHESE NATURAL WONDERS,

"SO YOU MIGHT WANTTO PLAN A TRIP NOW,

"BEFORE THESE SIGHTSARE GONE FOR GOOD."

[audience applauding]

WE'RE SCREWED... WE'RE SCREWEDBECAUSE SOME CORPORATIONS

ARE TREATINGTHE PLANET

LIKE WE'RE IN SECONDSEMESTER OF SENIOR YEAR.

"IT'S ALMOST OVER--[deleted] IT!"

[cheers and applause]

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