Ari Shaffir - Kids Trying Food

Ari Shaffir: Passive Aggressive Season 1, Ep 1 03/13/2015 Views: 5,087

Ari Shaffir explains why kids freak out when they eat something they don't like. (1:38)

Kids are awful.


My friends, Steve and Tracy,have this kid

and he's, like, 2 or 0 or 7or something.

I don't know.He's undeveloped.

And we were all at a Super Bowlparty at their house,

and this kid tried some foodhe didn't like.

He's, like, 3 years old, andwhen they try food at that age

and they don't like it,they don't handle it very well.

It's not like you or me.

If you or me, like,tried some food, I'd be like,

"Hmm, wait.Is that cheesecake?

"It is, right?Yeah, I don't like cheesecake.

"Yeah, I know.

"I know. I know.And I'm a sweets guy.

"So you'd totally thinkI like cheesecake.

"I totally get whereyou're coming from.

"But nonetheless,I don't like cheesecake,

so you can polish that offif you like."

At 3, it's not that pleasantan experience.

At 3, they just start, like,convulsing.

Their body's rejectingthis outside pathogen.

"Aah, aah, aah,

"I don't like it.I don't like it!

"Ugh, Mom. Mom! Mom!

"Mom, I don't like it!Aah!

Aah, aah!"

And I don't blame 'em.

At 3 years old, you've had,like, 8 real meals

in your whole life.

It was breast milkfor 2 1/2 years

and then you start with food,and the first six meals

were (bleep) good.

And this last one is,"Oh, this is disgusting!"

Like, he just learnedthat food could be bad.

His understanding of the worldhas been lessened

by what's currentlyin his mouth, you know?

He's got nothingto compare it to.

Me, it's like, "Cheesecake, I'vehad it before. Don't like it."

Him, it's like,oh, hatred exists.