Mario Cantone - Liza Minnelli

Cotter, Blitz, Lombard, Cantone Season 3, Ep 0305 01/22/2000 Views: 5,199

Liza Minnelli doesn't know the words to any of the songs she sings. (1:43)

YOU KNOW WHY?

YOU KNOW WHY I'M WEARING THEM?

'CAUSE I'VE BEEN HANGINGWITH THE HOMIES

AND SMOKING THE BLUNTS.

( laughter )

EITHER THAT OR I'M

DESPERATELY TRYING TO HOLDONTO MY YOUTH BY A HANGNAIL.

SO, UH, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

AH, THE THEATER.

WE'RE IN THE THEATER.

AH, THE THEATER.

YOU KNOW ONE OF THE MOSTINTERESTING THEATRICAL EVENTS

OF THE PAST FEW YEARS

WAS LIZA MINELLI REPLACEDJULIE ANDREWS

IN VICTOR, VICTORIA.

AND SHE GOT ON STAGE

AND IT WAS ALL IN THE PRESS

THAT SHE DIDN'T KNOW THAT LYRICSTO THE SONGS...

I COULD OF TOLD YOU THAT.

I SAW HER SING"THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER"

AT A GAME ONE TIME.

SHE CAME OUT SHE WAS LIKE--

( imitating Liza Minelli ):♪ OH SAY CAN YOU... BE

♪ BY THE DAW SO MIN BOW

♪ SO THE LAND OF THE FEEL

♪ AND THE HOME STAPLER BRAID.

( laughter and applause )

THAT'S HOW SHE BOWS.

SHE BOWS LIKE...

BILLY STITCH.

HEY, THERE WAS ONE MUSICAL

THAT MARLON BRANDO DIDIN HIS LIFETIME.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT WAS?

GUYS AND DOLLS. VERY GOOD.

I ASKED THAT LAST NIGHT

SOMEONE SAID LAST TANGO IN PARIS.

YEAH, GOOD MUSICAL.

OH, YEAH, REMEMBER THAT SONG?

♪ GET THE BUTTER,GET THE BUTTER ♪

♪ GET THE BUTTER NOW

♪ STICK YOUR FINGERTWIXT MY BUTTOCKS ♪

♪ STICK IT IN RIGHT NOW

OH, A WONDERFUL SCORE

BY MICHEL LEGRANDE.

IT WAS BRILLIANT.