AND CELEBRATEYOUR INDEPENDENCE.

IT'S "DEFENDING YOUR TWEET."YOU TWEETED IT.

NOW I'M GONNA READ ITAND ASK YOU TO DEFEND IT

IN FRONT OF ALLTHESE PEOPLE.

AMY, ON JUNE 17TH,YOU TWEETED...

AMY SCHUMER,LOVE OF MY FORMER LIFE,

DEFEND YOUR TWEET.

- I DON'T BELIEVEYOU EVER LOVED ME.

BUT I, UM...[laughter]

OKAY, WELL, WHAT HAPPENEDWAS COMEDY CENTRAL

ASKED ME TO LIVE-TWEETMY TV SHOW.

AND I MISUNDERSTOOD'CAUSE I WAS DRUNK.

AND I LIVE-TWEETED ANTIQUES ROADSHOW.

- AHH.I SEE.

PRETTY GOOD DEFENSE.JIM.

- YES?- JIM NORTON.

ON JUNE 24TH, YOU TWEETED...

JIM, DEFEND YOUR TWEET.

- WELL, I WAS WATCHINGA SPECIAL ON ELEPHANTS

AND HOW THEY'RE JUST--THEY'RE MISTREATED.

AND IT JUST BOTHERED ME.I HATE CIRCUSES.

AND I HATE WHEN PEOPLEARE MEAN TO ELEPHANTS.

IT JUST GETS ME.- YEAH, YEAH.

- THAT'S USUALLYMY OPENING LINE IN A BAR

TO MAKE A WOMANTHINK I'M SENSITIVE.

YEAH.- DONE AND DONE.

- YEAH.- WELL, THANK YOU GUYS BOTH

SO MUCHFOR BEING HERE TONIGHT.

VISIT AMYSCHUMER.COMAND CHECK OUT HER TOUR DATES.

AND SEE JIM'S NEW HOUR SPECIAL AMERICAN DEGENERATE,

PREMIERING AUGUST 23RDON EPIX.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACKWITH MORE SHOW.

[cheers and applause]