Jeff Garcia - Latin Women

  • Season 10 , Ep 23
  • 05/04/2006
  • Views: 14,020

If you call a Latin woman a bitch, you better run because they stab. (3:07)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BUT THEY DON'T SHUT THE HELL UP. CHECK IT OUT.

HUH. YE YE YE YE YE YE!"AH, SHUT UP!"

YOU HAVE ASS AND BOOBS;BUT YOU DON'T SHUT UP!

MY FRIEND'S MARRIED TO A WHITE CHICK.

THAT LOOKS FUN, DUDE. DUDE, SHE NEVER BUGS HIM.

WE CAME HOME, 3:30AM DRUNK OFF OUR ASSES, RIGHT?

WE WALK IN SHE'S LIKE "WHERE WERE YOU?

OH MY GOD, I CALLED YOUR PHONE. YOU DIDN'T ANSWER.

WHERE WERE YOU?" HE SAID, "WHAT THE HELL?!

I WAS AT WORK! I PAID FOR ALL THIS!"

- "OKAY. - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

FINE, I'LL COOK THE CHORIZO."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

TRY THAT WITH A LATIN CHICK.CALL HER A BITCH.

YOU CAN'T CALL A LATIN CHICK A BITCH TO HER FACE.

YOU GOTTA BE LIKE, "BITCH," AND RUN, 'CAUSE THEY STOP.

I'D BE LIKE, "BITCH." "OH, RIGHT. NO."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

DUDE, FOLLOWING WEEKWE CAME HOME AT 4:00AM.

WE'RE DRUNK, DUDE. WALK IN HIS HOUSE. IT'S LIKE,

"OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KEEP DOING THIS.

OH MY GOD." "WHAT THE HELL, I'M WORKING! I PAY FOR THIS!"

AND THEY HAVE A 3-YEAR-OLD KID THAT CAME OUT, RIGHT?

IT'S LIKE,"AH, LOOK WHAT YOU DID.

"JACOB, GO TO SLEEP, OKAY? MOMMY AND DADDY ARE TALKING.

LOOK WHAT YOU DID." TRYIN' TO GET THE KID OUT OF THE ARGUMENT.

LATIN CHICKS BRINGTHE KID IN THE ARGUMENT.

"HEY, WAKE UP. WAKE UP. WAKE UP. LOOK AT YOUR DAD.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

"LOOK AT YOUR DAD.CALL HIM AN ASS-[BLEEP].

MIJO, GO GET MOMMY'S KNIFE."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

- I MARRIED A PUERTO RICAN. - [CHEERING]

SHE KEPT PRESSURING ME, DUDE. "LET'S GET MARRIED."

I SAID, "SLOW DOWN. WE JUST HAD A KID.

WAIT A COUPLE YEARS,WE'LL HAVE A RING BOY."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

- ANYBODY ELSE MARRIED HERE? - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

- IT SUCKS, HUH?- [LAUGHTER]

YOU KNOW WHAT I MISS ABOUT BEING SINGLE?

GOING OUTSIDE. THAT'S FUN, DUDE.

WHEN SHE'S NOT HOME, I RUN OUTSIDE.

THEY SHOULD GIVE YOU A PAMPHLET BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED, HUH?

STUFF SHE CAN DO; WHAT SHE CAN SAY;

AND YOU DON'T MATTER,'CAUSE YOU HAVE TO STAY.

DUDE, EVEN THE PRIEST TRIES TO TALK YOU OUT OF IT, HUH?

"'TIL DEATH DO YOU PART?" "FOR RICHER OR FOR POORER?"

"ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA DO THIS?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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