Rudy Rush - Little Brothers

  • Season 8 , Ep 26
  • 05/27/2004
  • Views: 6,178

When you leave a Bruce Lee movie as a 13-year-old, you think you know karate. (2:34)

I WAS ABUSED AS A CHILD TILL

I GOT OLDER.

AND A LOT OF PEOPLE IN HERE

WAS ABUSED, YOU JUST DON'T

KNOW IT YET.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU DON'T.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU BLACK,

WHITE, YOU DIDN'T GET NO

WHIPPING.

REMEMBER YOUR MOM MADE YOU A

BATH?

SHE WOULD MAKE THAT DAMN WATER

ADULT HOT.

REMEMBER HOW HOT THAT WATER WAS?

YOU STAND IN THE--

"MOMMY, THIS WATER'S HOT."

"SIT DOWN."

"BUT THIS WATER IS HOT."

"SIT DOWN."

AND YOU KNOW THAT DAMN WATER

IS HOT BECAUSE YOUR STOMACH'S

LIKE-- IT'S HOT-- IT'S HOT--

HOT-- HOT.

HOT WATER.

HOT.

HOT.

I WAS LIKE--

I'M IN THE SIXTH GRADE--

I'M LIKE-- I'M STRONG AS HELL.

[LAUGHTER]

HOT BATHS.

I USED TO GET IN TROUBLE ALL

THE TIME BECAUSE I USED TO

BEAT UP MY LITTLE BROTHER.

BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY FOR.

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S IN THE DICTIONARY.

UNDER LITTLE BROTHER IT SAYS,

"WHOOP HIS ASS, HE'S YOURS."

BUT IT WAS MY MOTHER'S FAULT

BECAUSE SHE USED TO LET ME GO

WATCH THOSE KARATE MOVIES IN

TIMES SQUARE.

REMEMBER THE BRUCE LEE, YOU SEE

LIKE TWO FOR $5.

AND MY MOTHER WOULD LET ME GO

AND I WOULD SEE ALL THIS STUFF.

AND IT'S FUNNY NOW BECAUSE

YOU'RE AN ADULT, YOU COME OUT

OF A MOVIE THEATRE.

YOU UNDERSTAND IT'S A MOVIE,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I'M 13 YEARS OLD, I COME OUT

OF SEEING BRUCE LEE, I THINK

I KNOW THAT STUFF.

COME ON.

YOU EVER COME OUT OF A

BRUCE LEE FLICK?

YOU COME OUT OF THE MOVIE

THEATRE LIKE THIS.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

I WISH SOMEBODY WOULD START

WITH MY ASS.

AND I WOULD GO HOME AND MY

LITTLE BROTHER WOULD BE LIKE

HOW WAS THE MOVIE!

HOW WAS THE MOVIE!

I'D BE LIKE, "LET ME SHOW YOU."

[LAUGHTER]

AND BLACK PARENTS ARE FUNNY,

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT WHITE

PARENTS.

BLACK PARENTS ARE FUNNY,

BECAUSE THEY GET OUT IN FRONT

OF OTHER PEOPLE AND THEY CHANGE

THEIR WHOLE PERSONALITY.

THEY DO.

I REMEMBER ONE TIME, IT'S A

TRUE STORY, Y'ALL.

MY MOTHER'S FRIEND WAS DATING

THIS WHITE GUY, THIS PROFESSOR

AT A COLLEGE.

SO WE WENT TO GO HAVE LUNCH

WITH THEM.

NOW WE GO TO FAMILY FUNCTIONS,

BARBECUES AT MY MOTHER'S BLACK

FRIENDS' HOUSE.

I'M RUDY.

THIS IS MY SON, RUDY.

WE MEET THIS GUY.

SHE'S LIKE-- THIS IS MY SON,

RUDOLPH.

[LAUGHTER]

I WAS LIKE WHAT THE HELL?

AND I GO TO SHAKE HIS HAND,

I'M LIKE, "I'M RUDY."

SHE'S LIKE, "HA-HA-HA, RUDOLPH."

I START THINKING TO MYSELF,

ARE YOU ABOUT TO SELL ME TO

THIS WHITE MAN?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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