Jeff Dunham - American Woman

Minding the Monsters Season 1, Ep 101 10/07/2012 Views: 73,312

Achmed details why he finds American women so scary and reveals why it's so easy for him to dress up as a female. (1:56)

dressed like this?

>> Oh, you told me to dress

like the scariest thing

I could think of.

>> What are you?

>> I am a woman.


>> Just a woman?

>> Worse. An American woman.


Ha, ha.

Silence! Impossible.


>> What's so scary about

an American woman?

>> (gasps) They can vote.

(laughter and applause)

>> So what else scares you

about American women?

>> Besides everything?

The money.

>> The money?

>> You marry an American woman,

and in no time, all your money

for bombs is gone!

She blows money on shoes, I have

no money to blow up the Jews.


I don't mean just the Jews,

but it rhymes--

"shoes" and "Jews."

I-I could've said, you know,

"slacks" and "blacks."

But "Jews" is funnier.

And I like black folks.

Oh, we white chicks

love the black guys.

I think the expression is

"once you go black,

you never go back to white guys

or medium to small animals."

Something like that.

Hey, I see you looking at me.

What do you think?

>> Uh, nice hair.

>> Oh, yes, and I promise you,

the drapes match the curtains.

What?! I was talking about

my beard, you idiots!

I don't have carpet carpet.

>> Well, I must say, your

costume is not what I expected.

>> You mean the blonde hair?

>> Right.

>> Well, I used to be

a suicide bomber,

now I'm a suicide bombshell.

And it's easy for me

to play a woman,

because after the explosion,

my man-junk was never recovered.