I'm happy, and I knowthat's a weird stance
for a comedian to take:Well, I enjoy life.
Um, I'm happybecause I discovered
one of the keys to happiness,
and it was simple.
One of the keys to happiness--
all you need to do is
redefine what a miracle isfor yourself.
That's all it is.
Just loosen up your definitionof what a miracle can be.
All a miracle isis the world letting you know
it can still surprise you.
That's all it is,plain and simple,
and if you adhere to that,
you get to experience miraclesall the time.
I get to have them all the time.
Recently,I experienced a miracle,
and the miracle I experiencedwas I burnt my laundry.
And it's something thatshould've just pissed me off,
but I didn't even knowyou could do that.
Just sat at the Laundromat,holding a meteorite
that used to bemy favorite T-shirts,
but insteadof getting pissed or angry,
I was overwhelmed with a senseof joy and curiosity
about the world.
Instead of being mad, I'm justyelling out at everybody, like,
did you knowthis could even happen?
I put the same coins in the samemachines as you all did.
You got fresh laundry.
I created a new elementfor the universe.
Spent two weeks justcalling myself "the alchemist."
I took it serious!
I have been chosen.