Gene Pompa - Ex-Girlfriend's Dad

  • Season 8 , Ep 17
  • 03/25/2004
  • Views: 1,494

Some people are so stupid, you just have to wonder. (2:13)

Gene Pompa: SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA

DEAL WITH SOCIETY'S WILLFUL

IGNORANCE WITH A CHILD-LIKE

WONDERMENT.

I'M SITTING ACROSS THE TABLE

FROM MY EX-GIRLFRIEND'S DAD.

AND HE GOES, "GENE, YOU NEED

TO DO MORE JOKES ABOUT STEALING

HUBCAPS AND SPRAY PAINTING

GRA-FFITI."

I GO, "I DON'T STEAL HUBCAPS,

I DON'T SPRAY PAINT GRA-FFITI."

HE GOES, "I'M SORRY,

MY GARDENER'S MEXICAN.

HE DOESN'T LOOK OR ACT ANYTHING

LIKE YOU."

I SAID, "THAT'S SUCH A

COINCIDENCE 'CAUSE MY LANDLORD'S

A MORON AND YOU GUYS DRESS

TOTALLY DIFFERENT."

[LAUGHTER]

I USED TO LIKE TO GO OVER TO HIS

HOUSE AND ASK HIM IF I COULD USE

HIS RESTROOM.

AND THEN I'D COME OUT AND GO,

"MAN, YOUR TOOTHBRUSH TASTES

WEIRD."

[LAUGHTER]

MY EX-GIRLFRIEND'S DAD, HE WAS

REALLY HOMOPHOBIC.

HE COULDN'T DEAL WITH GAY PEOPLE

IN ANY CAPACITY.

HE'D ALWAYS SAY THESE REALLY

WEIRD THINGS TO ME.

"YOU KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM WITH

THIS COUNTRY IS, IT'S THIS GOSH

DARN HOMOSEXUALS COMING OVER

HERE TAKING OUR [BLEEP]DAMN

JOBS."

[LAUGHTER]

ALRIGHT, COMING OVER HERE FROM

WHERE?

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

HE GOES, "HELL, I DON'T KNOW.

QUEER NATION.

THEY GOT A WHOLE COUNTRY OF

THOSE PEOPLE."

[LAUGHTER]

SOME IGNORANCE IS COMPLETELY

HARMLESS.

I WAS IN NEWPORT BEACH IN

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.

THIS SURF STONER, HE COMES UP

TO ME AFTER MY SHOW AND HE GOES,

"DUDE, YOU DO THOSE MEXICAN

JOKES AND I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE

TRYING TO TELL ME I SHOULD LOOK

AT LATINOS A LITTLE BIT

DIFFERENTLY."

AND I GO, "WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU

SHOULDN'T LOOK AT ANY GROUP OF

PEOPLE THE SAME.

YOU SHOULD LOOK AT PEOPLE AS

INDIVIDUALS."

HE GOES, "YEAH, DUDE, BUT YOU

GOTTA KEEP IN MIND, MAN, I'M A

[BLEEP] IDIOT."

[LAUGHTER]

OH, YOU SAY THAT.

WHEN I WAS AROUND 18-YEARS-OLD

ONE OF MY OLDER BROTHERS,

HE TOOK ME ASIDE AND HE TOLD ME

HE WAS GAY.

SO I CALLED THE POLICE.

[LAUGHTER]

I WAS LIKE, "YOU SEND OVER A

COP CAR, MY BROTHER IS A

HOMOSEXUAL."

HE SAID, "SIR, WE CANNOT SEND

OVER A COP CAR JUST BECAUSE

YOUR BROTHER IS GAY."

AND I SAID, "PLEASE?

HE LOVES A MAN IN UNIFORM AND

IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY.

I WANT IT TO BE A SURPRISE

'CAUSE HE'S MY BROTHER."

[LAUGHTER]

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