Public Enemies - Meter Maids

  • Season 1 , Ep 1
  • 08/14/2012
  • Views: 4,102

Jeff Ross normally roasts the ones he loves, but for these parking citation dispensers, he'll make an exception. (2:16)

GAVE ME THIS PARKING TICKET.

HOW MANY PEOPLE HEREHATE METER MAIDS

AS MUCH AS I DO?

[cheers and applause]

UGH!

I NORMALLY ONLY ROASTTHE ONES I LOVE,

BUT FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE,I MAKE AN EXCEPTION.

THIS IS A PART OF THE SHOWI CALL PUBLIC ENEMIES.

I TOOK THE ROASTER COASTERDOWNTOWN

TO TRY TO FIND THE METER MAIDWHO GAVE ME THIS TICKET.

WATCH.

[country music]

YOU GUYS, THE PUBLIC ENEMYNUMBER ONE...

COME OUT.TAKE YOUR VERBAL BEATING.

IT'S THE BURN.

I'M DOING THIS ON BEHALFOF EVERYBODY

WHO EVER GOTA PARKING TICKET.

LEAVE PEOPLE BE.NO, DON'T DO IT!

WRITE SOMETHING DOWN USEFUL,LIKE YOUR PHONE NUMBER.

YOU'RE CUTE.

YOU'RE A METER MAID?

I THINK YOU GAVE ME A--

DID YOU GIVE ME THIS TICKETYESTERDAY?

MAYBE IF SOMEBODYPUT SOMETHING IN YOUR SLOT,

YOU WOULDN'TGIVE THEM TICKETS.

NO TIME TO DO YOUR HAIR TODAY?

I THINK YOU LOOK GREAT.

YOU REALIZE YOUR SHIRTDOESN'T MATCH YOUR PANTS, RIGHT?

YOU HAVE TWO DIFFERENTUNIFORMS ON, RIGHT?

ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAYTO THE METER MAIDS?

- MAN, [bleep] THE METER MAIDS.- YOU GUYS SUCK!

[laughter]

- THESE PEOPLE HAVE NO HEART.- NOT REALLY.

- WHAT'S YOU'RE NAME, SIR?- HECTOR.

- HECTOR, I'M JEFF.- HEY. NICE MEETING YOU.

- I BET YOU WISH THEY'D LEFTA GREEN CARD ON YOUR WINDSHIELD.

I CAN SLOWLY SNEAK UPON THIS GUY.

HEY, THE BIGGEST PARKING SPOTHERE IS YOUR FOREHEAD.

WE'RE TAKING THE STREETS BACK,BALDY.

WRITE SOMETHING USEFUL,LIKE A SUICIDE NOTE.

HOW DO I BACK UP?

YOU'RE JUST DOINGYOUR JOB, RIGHT?

I'M JUST DOING MINE TOO.FEEL THE BURN, BUDDY.

YOU'RE TOUGH ON PEOPLE, MAN.- YEAH, I HAVE TO BE.

WE HAVE A QUOTA.

- A QUOTA?- YEAH.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU GOTTAGIVE SO MANY TICKETS

TO BLACK PEOPLEAND MEXICANS AND JEWISH PEOPLE?

- OH, NO.

- DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?- NO.

- MAYBE 'CAUSE YOU'REA METER MAID.

[laughter]

HOW DO I DO THIS?

YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE,METER BOY.

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