#HashtagWars - #HolidayPickupLines

Tuesday, December 6, 2016 12/06/2016 Views: 239

Sam Morril, Janelle James and Mike Lawrence search for love under the mistletoe with holiday-inspired pickup lines. (1:51)

And now that everyone knowswho everyone is,

let us begin tonight's#HashtagWars.


Have you ever been singleduring the holidays?

It's the worst.All your friends and family

keep asking, "What are yougonna do for Christmas?

"You can't be alonefor Christmas.

Why are you gonna be alonefor Christmas?"

They make it sound likeChristmas is some serial killer,

like, "Hurry!Christmas is coming!

Lock yourselves away!"

So tonight we're gonna tryto find you love

under the mistletoe with ourhashtag #HolidayPickUpLines.

These totally work.A hundred percent.

Examples might be: Girl, youwant me to stuff that stocking?

And: Sorry I camedown your chimney."

-(laughter)-I'm gonna put...

I'm gonna put 60 s...

-I'm gonna put 60 seconds...-(audience whooping)

on the clock...No, I'm really sorry.

I'm gonna put 60 secondson the clock, starting now.

-Sam. -Can I callyour vagina Baby Jesus?

'Cause it's aboutto get murdered by a Jew.

(laughter, shouting)

HARDWICK:Oh, my God!


The Wolverine claws are out!Points to Sam Morril.

-Mike.-Girl, you must be Kwanzaa,

because no one elsewill acknowledge you.

-All right, points.-(laughter)

-Mike Lawrence.-Is that a dick in your mouth,

or are you just tryingto pronounce Chanukah?

-All right, points.-(laughter)

-Janelle.-Uh, Feliz Navi-Damn, son!

-All right, points. Very good.-(laughter)

-Sam.-I know when you're sleeping,

I know when you're awake,I'm a registered sex offender.

-Very good. Points.(laughter)

-Sam. -Is that a candy canein your pocket,

or are your pants stickyfor another reason?

-All right, points. Uh, Mike.-(audience groaning)

Let's make, like, a classicArnold Schwarzenegger film

and jingle all the way.

-(laughter)-Ah. Very well done.

Very well done. Janelle.

I'm just like Santa--I only come once a year.

-All right, points.-(laughter)