I don't want it... I don't wantthere to be any confusion.
Camera one, camera two.Big deal.
I don't careanymore, man.
Yeah, I know I have a lazy eye.
I don't eventhink about it, though.
'Cause I got this sweet-assJohn Stamos hair. Look at that.
You girls thoughtthat was product?
This is DNA and hotel shampoo.Let's be real.
Spend a lot of timein public restrooms.
Every time I go inthe public bathroom, I have to
actually sit down,I feel like a...
Like I'm some sort ofvo-volunteer janitor.
You know, 'cause I...You always got to go in there
and clean it up, you know.
And I always pickthe handicapped stall. You know?
I like to hang... I needthe extra room to hang out in
before I'm in there.
Just chill outin the handicapped stall.
Just think about things,you know?
You always got to go in there,
you got to startthe cleanup job, right?
First the toilet paper.
I use a lot 'cause it ain't myhouse and I really don't care.
Suddenly I got,like, this arm...
this arm wrappedin toilet paper.
I'm like a mummy.I'm cleaning the toilet off.
And then comes that...the last step.
The butt... The butt condomthing, the ass condom thing.
The papier-mâchéprotective ass condom.
Has... Has this eversaved anybody from anything?
You know, you can't be impatientand just slam it on there.
'Cause it'll rip, and now youonly got one side of protection.
You need... That's why yougot to float it on there
all slow and be patient.Just...
And then I play Candy Crush.
'Cause that's whatyou do in there.
You get on your cell phone.