Uncensored - Dave Attell - Dreaming Fat

Dave Attell: Captain Miserable Season 1, Ep 0101 07/06/2009 Views: 16,269

Just once, Dave Attell wants to go into a restaurant and be blown away by a new kind of soup. (2:04)

I even dream fat.I do.

I woke up the other night,I'm like,

"When are we gonna getsome new soups?"

Honestly.

When's the last time you wereblown away by a new soup?

I can't think of it.

[MUMBLES]Nothing.

It doesn't even have to be good,just something different.

Break up the monotony.

Just once I wanna go intoa restaurant and they're like,

"The soups of the day,we got lentil,

"mushroom barley

and whale come."

"Did you say 'whale come'?"

"I know, it soundsmore like a chowder." But, uh...

Wouldn't you try it?Wouldn't you give it a nibble?

Just to have that in yourreferences of tastes?

You go out with your friends."Oh, that meal sucked."

"Well, it was no whale comesoup, I'll tell you that."

Was that a joke about whale comeor the environment?

I don't know.

We get new juices all the time,don't we? Yeah.

Everyone has a favorite juice.Here's one of mine:

pineapple juice.

Love it. Pineapple juice.

Oh. It's so sweet.

It's too sweet.

It's not even juice

or the laughter of children.

As opposed to tomato juice.

What evil fucking mindthought that up?

Is the Taliban behind that shit?

It's so tart and bitterand unforgiving.

That's not juice.

That's the tears of Indians,yes.

[APPLAUSE]