Nick DiPaolo - Girlfriend's Dildo

  • Season 6 , Ep 7
  • 06/02/2002
  • Views: 8,225

The only word Nick DiPaolo wants to hear after climaxing is "goodbye." (1:24)

EVEN IF YOU MEET A GIRL THAT

NIGHT YOU HAVE SEX WITH HER,

YOU JUST MET HER, THERE'S THAT

AWKWARD SILENCE WHERE THERE'S

NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT FOR THE

NEXT SIX HOURS.

THAT'S WHY I JUST LOOK AT DIRTY

PICTURES ON THE INTERNET NOW,

YOU KNOW?

THE ONLY VOICE I WANT TO HEAR

AFTER I CLIMAX IS GOOD-BYE.

(LAUGHTER)

I TALKED MY GIRLFRIEND INTO

BUYING A DILDO A COUPLE OF WEEKS

AGO FOR HER.

LET ME CLARIFY THAT,

I KNOW WE'RE IN NEW YORK.

ANYTHING GOES IN THIS (BLEEP)

DAMNED CITY BUT, UH...

WELL, I SAID SHE WAS BORED

WITH OUR SEX LIFE, I'M MAKING

LOVE TO HER, SHE'S LAYING THERE

WHISTLING THE THEME TO

MY THREE SONS.

THAT'S NOT GOOD, YOU KNOW?

I SAID, "GO OUT AND BUY A TOY."

SHE COMES BACK WITH A NINE INCH

BLACK RUBBER DILDO.

I THOUGHT SHE STOLE A PEPPER

MILL FROM A STEAK HOUSE.

(LAUGHTER)

"AH, JUST SAY WHEN, HONEY."

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE THESE

THINGS SO REALISTIC?

THINGS GOT MORE VEINS IN IT THAN

IGGY POPS FOREARM, YOU KNOW?

(LAUGHTER)

TAKES LIKE EIGHT D CELL

BATTERIES.

APPARENTLY, SHE WANTS A (BLEEP)

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A DIRT BIKE.

(MAKES BUZZING SOUND)

(LAUGHTER)

COMES OUT OF THE BEDROOM,

SHE'S GOT MUD ALL OVER HER FACE.

(LAUGHTER)

AND WE'RE IN BED ONE NIGHT,

SHE STARTS FIDDLING AROUND

MY ASS WITH THIS THING,

I'M LIKE, "HEY!

IF I WANT A NINE INCH BLACK

PENIS IN MY ASS, I'LL COMMIT

A FELONY."

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