Rachel Feinstein - Titty Dance

  • Season 14, Ep 11
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 28,505

Every man hopes and prays that a titty jig is going to erupt at any moment in their lives. (2:08)

I TRY TO MEET GUYSWITH MY FRIENDS, BUT, AH--

MY PROBLEM WITH --WITH MY FRIENDS

IS JUST THAT THEY'REREAL WHORES,

REAL, UNSTOPPABLE WHORES.

[ LAUGHTER, SCATTERED APPLAUSE ]

THANK YOU.AND I'VE HAD IT.

I-I REALLY HAVE.

I WAS OUT WITH THEMTHE OTHER NIGHT

AND WE'RE AT THIS BARAND I'M TALKING TO THIS GUY

AND HE'S KIND OF LEANING IN,

LIKE MAYBE HE'S INTRIGUED BY MEOR SOMETHING.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, I LOOK UP,

AND I NOTICE,OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE,

MY FRIEND THAT I CAME THERE WITHIS DOING SOME SORT OF A --

A TITTY DANCE ON THE BARRIGHT ABOVE US.

AND YOU CAN'T REALLYCOMPETE WITH THAT,

'CAUSE I THINK EVERY MANHOPES AND PRAYS

THAT A TITTY JIGIS JUST GONNA ERUPT

AT ANY MOMENTDURING THEIR LIVES.

[ SCATTERED APPLAUSE ]

AND THEN SHE STARTS MAKING OUT

WITH THIS RIDICULOUSLY HOTFEMALE BARTENDER.

LIKE HE'S GONNA STOPAND CHOOSE MY CONVERSATION

OVER THE TWO OF THEMQUEERING OFF RIGHT ABOVE HIM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I HAD TO SEND HER HOME,WHICH WAS KIND OF AWKWARD

'CAUSE I WAS SUPPOSED TOSPEND THE NIGHT AT HER HOUSE.

SO, I'M LIKE,"GO HOME, YOU WHORE.

I'LL SEE YOU IN AN HOUR."

AND -- AND I GET --I GET TO HER APARTMENT

AT JUST SOME WORTHLESS TIME --

AND I OPEN THE DOORAND THE FIRST THING I SEE

IS HER LYING COMPLETELY NAKEDON THE KITCHEN FLOOR,

REAL -- REAL CLASSY LIKE.

AND, UH...

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND THERE WAS A PIECEOF FRENCH TOAST ON HER TIT,

WHICH WAS, UH...

[ LAUGHTER, SCATTERED APPLAUSE ]

...WAS REALLY A MYSTERYOF SORTS...

[ LAUGHTER ]

...'CAUSE SHE WASN'T SO DRUNK

THAT SHE COULDN'T WHIP UPSOME FRENCH TOAST, WHICH IS --

WELL, IT'S ALMOSTA CLASSY DESIRE AT THAT HOUR.

YET SHE WAS ENOUGH OF A MESSTO LEAVE IT ON HER TIT

WITH A BITE OUT OF IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THESE ARE THE ELEGANT LADIESI KEEP WITH.

AND THEN SHE PROPS HERSELF UPREALLY FAST, AND SHE GOES,

"I WAS JUST THINKING I WOULDWAIT UP FOR YOU TONIGHT."

[ LAUGHTER ]

REALLY, LIKE I WAS GONNA BELIEVEIT WAS AN ACT OF HOSPITALITY,

HER LYING THERE LIKEA BLUDGEONED PROSTITUTE...

WITH CONTINENTAL BREAKFASTON HER RACK.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Loading...