Dante Nero - Barbaric Appeal

  • Season 1, Ep 1
  • 07/11/2010
  • Views: 1,723

If Dante Nero was ravaging the countryside with an axe, he could pick up mad Mesopotamian bitches. (1:42)

- COME ON, CLAP FOR ME,'CAUSE I CAN HURT YOU!

[cheers and applause]

CLAP FASTER!CLAP FASTER!

[laughter]

I'M JUST PLAYING.

I KNOW I'M A LOT TO TAKE INWHEN I FIRST GET IN--

LIKE, "UH...

WHO GOT TICKETS FOR WWF?"

I GET IT.

"WHY IS THE BOUNCER ONSTAGETELLING JOKE?"

I ACTUALLY DO PRETTY GOODWITH THE LADIES

ON PAYDAY.

UM...

LIKE, I KNOW I DON'T HAVE,LIKE, BOYISH GOOD LOOKS.

LIKE, THIS DUDE HAS,LIKE, A YOUNG BOY--

LIKE, NOBODY'S GONNA LURE MEINTO HER BEDROOM

WITH FRUIT ROLL-UPOR NOTHING LIKE THAT.

AND I KNOW I DON'T HAVE, LIKE,MODEL GOOD LOOKS.

I FEEL LIKEI HAVE A BARBARIC APPEAL.

LIKE, VIKING CHICKSWOULD LIKE ME.

I WAS JUST BORN TOO LATE.

LIKE, IF I WAS RAVAGINGTHE COUNTRYSIDE

WITH A HAT WITH HORNSAND AN AX,

I KNOW I COULD PICK UPMAD MESOPOTAMIAN BITCHES.

YOU CAN'T REALLY TELLWHAT MY NATIONALITY IS.

YOU'RE LIKE, "UH...

"IS HE BLA--MM.

"IS HE SPANI--MM.

CRIMINAL,DEFINITELY A CRIMINAL."

SOMETIMES PEOPLE MISTAKE MEFOR BEING JEWISH.

SOMETIMES I GROWMY SIDEBURNS LONG AND CURLY.

SOMETIMES I WEAR MY DO-RAGFIVE SIZES TOO SMALL.

MAYBE IT'STHE WAY I SAY "CHHOLLA."

ONE TIMEI'M WALKING DOWN THE STREET,

THIS RABBI RUNS UP TO ME.

HE GOES...[imitates speaking Hebrew]

I GO, "I DON'T KNOW.MAYBE ON MY FATHER'S SIDE."

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