Louis Ramey - Uptight Cops

Season 3 , Ep 0307 01/04/00 Views: 3,408

Louis gets pulled over because he's black. (2:08)

SO, I ALMOST DIDN'T MAKE IT.

GOT STOPPED, UH, IN NEW JERSEYBY A STATE TROOPER.

Man:YAY!

YEP, A LOT OF UPTIGHT COPSIN NEW JERSEY.

PULLS ME OVER.

HE GOES, UH, "YOU KNOW WHYI PULLED YOU OVER?"

I GO, UH,"'CAUSE I WAS SPEEDING?"

HE GOES,"NOPE, 'CAUSE YOU'RE BLACK.

DON'T YOU READ THE PAPER?"

THEN, HE GAVE ME A TICKETFOR NOT WEARING A SEAT BELT.

IT'S TRUE I WASN'T WEARINGA SEAT BELT, BUT SCREW THAT.

I DON'T KNOW ANYBODYTHAT WEARS A SEAT BELT

IN THE BACKOF A CAB.

SO, UH...I'M LIVING IN NEW YORK NOW...

STARTING THE WHOLE NEW YORKDATING THING.

LED A PRETTY SAD SEXUAL HISTORY.

REMEMBER MY, UH,FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE

BACKSEAT OF MY DAD'S CAR.

I WAS YOUNG.

I WAS IN LOVE.

OH!

I WAS ALONE. I WAS.

UH...

NO-NO...

NO, NOT QUITE.

DAD WAS DRIVING, YOU KNOW?

OH, HE WAS PISSED.

HE WAS PISSED

'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,IT'S A SMALL CAR

AND, UH, AND THE TOP WAS DOWN.

UM...

I'M TRYING TO FIND THE WOMANOF THE NEW MILLENNIUM.

I'M READING ALL THE MAGAZINES-- VOGUE, COSMO.

I'VE LEARNED NOTHINGBUT MAKEUP TIPS.

AN ARTICLEON WOMEN'S SEXUAL FANTASIES.

THAT SHOWS YOU RIGHT THERE--KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WOMEN.

DIDN'T EVEN KNOWWOMEN HAD SEXUAL FANTASIES.

READ THE ARTICLE--

I STILL DON'T KNOW WHYWOMEN ARE HAVING SEXUAL FAN...

APPARENTLY,THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MEN

YOU LADIESDON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND.

SO, I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO YOU NOW,BEST WAY I CAN.

THIS COULD SAVE YOU YEARSOF GRIEF.

LISTEN CAREFULLY.

LADIES... WE... AS MEN...WILL DO ANYTHING.

ANYTHING YOU WANT,WE WILL DO.

DON'T FANTASIZE.

YEAH, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK.

DRESS UP LIKE A COP,DRESS UP LIKE A COBRA--

ANYTHING YOU WANT, BELIEVE ME,WE WILL DO IT...

AND IF YOUR MAN WON'T DO IT...

HIS BEST FRIEND WILL.

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