Uh, yeah, the news is (bleep).
Um, CNN is my network'cause, 'cause CNN,
even when it's bad news,it's kind of good on CNN.
But you know who's gotthe saddest news on Earth?
You ever accidentally watchthat British news?
Know what I'm talking about--that BBC News,
those sad-ass British accentson there?
Just the way they pronouncecountries on there
bums me out, like...
(in British accent):Afghani-stan.
Like, they could makeany news story sound sad
on the BBC, like...
"Today packs of wood nymphstraveled
"the hillsides of New Jersey
handing out chocolate chipcookies and (bleep) jobs."
We got to stayout of New Jersey.
Lot of time on the Internetas well.
I heard about this Web siterecently called,
called It Gets Better.
You guys know what this is?
All right, if you don't knowwhat it is, it's a Web site,
uh, where gay teenagersthat are getting bullied
by Tracy Morgan-- kidding.
"I'm gonna stab you."
No, gay teenagers that aregetting bullied at school--
they can go onlineand adult gay celebrities
have little videos for 'emgoing, like, "Hey,
"I know you're getting bulliednow, but just so you know,
it gets better."
Which sounds nice,but it's actually
just some empty Hollywood stuff
'cause if I was oneof the gay kids, I'd be like,
"So, celebrity,you can't help me today?"
Celebrities are like, "Today?
"No, we're afraidof the bullies as well,
but best of luck to you."
You know what Web site would be
way more effectivethan It Gets Better?
Web site called It Gets Worse
where all the people that weresuper-popular in high school
had to leave videosabout what losers they became
later on in life.
Wouldn't that be great?
Actually, wait, they have that.
It's called Facebook.