Jimmy Dore - Religious When It's Convenient

  • Season 8, Ep 20
  • 04/08/2004
  • Views: 4,419

Christians always have a tough time justifying killing in a war. (1:22)

BUT RELIGION, I DON'T KNOW,

RELIGION'S A GOOD THING BUT

NOBODY REALLY FOLLOWS IT,

EVEN THE POPE, RIGHT?

I MEAN, PEOPLE ARE ONLY

RELIGIOUS WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT.

LIKE FOR INSTANCE, LIKE THE IRAQ

WAR.

YOU COULD BE FOR THE IRAQ WAR,

YOU COULD AGAINST THE IRAQ WAR,

IT DOESN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS

FUNNY WHEN PEOPLE WERE

CHRISTIANS FOR THE WAR, WHICH

IS WEIRD 'CAUSE YOU KNOW JESUS

REALLY GAVE ONE COMMANDANT.

HE SAID, "LOVE YOUR ENEMY,"

RIGHT?

"OH, WELL, WE DO LOVE THEM.

AND THEN WE KILL 'EM.

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S MUCH HARDER THAT WAY.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT WE ARE WILLING TO MAKE

THAT CHRISTIAN SACRIFICE."

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT ABOUT "THOU SHALT NOT

KILL?"

THAT'S PRETTY CLEAR.

[THUMP]

"THAT'S NOT WHAT THAT MEANS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU DON'T READ THE BIBLE MUCH.

IT MEANS DON'T KILL 'EM, YEAH,

THAT'S WHAT-- BUT, YOU KNOW,

THEN YEAH, YOU CAN KILL 'EM."

[LAUGHTER]

REALLY?

HOW 'BOUT PRO-DEATH PENALTY

CHRISTIANS.

TO ME, THAT'S THE ULTIMATE IRONY

SEEIN' THAT JESUS REALLY CAUGHT

THE SHORT END OF THE STICK OF

THAT CAPITAL PUNISHMENT HIS

FIRST TIME HERE.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'LL BE AN AWKWARD MEETING

IN HEAVEN, THE PRO-DEATH PENALTY

CHRISTIAN AND JESUS.

BE LIKE, "HEY, YOU GUYS, GOOD TO

SEE YA.

DO YOU REMEMBER THIS?

[LAUGHTER]

TURNS OUT I'M AGAINST IT.

BAH-HA-HA!

[LAUGHTER]

I MADE 'EM.

I'LL TAKE 'EM OUT.

THANKS FOR THE HELP, THOUGH."

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