Godfrey - Minority Page

  • Season 9 , Ep 4
  • 02/17/2005
  • Views: 16,731

Godfrey posed for his college's brochure. (2:28)

I WENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OFILLINOIS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]YES, UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS,

BIG SCHOOL, 35,000 STUDENTS...

800 BLACK.

[LAUGHTER]THAT'S WHAT I DID, I LAUGHED

TOO, WHEN I GOT ON CAMPUS.

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEBASKETBALL TEAM WAS AWAY, I WAS

THE ONLY ONE LEFT ON CAMPUS.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]AND I WAS THE ONLY BLACK

IN EVERY CLASS.

IT'S HARD TO BE ABSENT, HMM.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]"WHERE'S THE LITTLE NEGRO BOY

WE PUT IT THE MIDDLE, AHHH?

IT WAS BLACK HISTORY MONTH,AHHH."

YEAH, THANKS FOR THE SHORTESTMONTH, ASSES...

AND THE COLDEST.

"YEAH, LET'S KEEP IT INTHE WINTER TIME, THEIR SKIN GETS

REALLY ASHY, THEY GO OUT THERETHEN."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]BUT I WAS COOL, 'CAUSE I POSED

FOR THE BROCHURE.

[LAUGHTER]EVERY COLLEGE HAS A MINORITY

PAGE.

I WAS THE BLACK DUDE STANDINGBY THE COMPUTER...

[LAUGHTER]ALONG WITH MY INDIAN FRIEND

RAJI.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]AND I LIKE WHEN I SEE THUGS

IN COLLEGE.

WHY YOU TRYING TO BE A THUGIN COLLEGE?

[LAUGHTER]A THUG, A THUG, WHAT, HOW,

THAT DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT.

IT'S LIKE, "YO, WE GONNAKICK HIS ASS AFTER MY FINALS."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]"I GOT TWO LABS, I'M A KILL HIM

RIGHT AFTER THAT."

I'M LIKE, WHAT?

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]I'M LOOKING FORWARD

TO HALLOWEEN.

MAN, I LOVE IT, CAUSE I'MBIG NOW AND I CAN BEAT UP KIDS

AND GET THEIR CANDY.

WHAT?

BECAUSE...

'CAUSE WHEN I WAS SMALLI ALMOST DIED TRICK-OR-TREATING.

I ALMOST DIED TRICK-OR-TREATING,'CAUSE I HAD ASTHMA AND YOU KNOW

WHEN YOUR PARENTS BUY YOU THATCHEAP MASK, THE CHEAP PLASTIC

ONE YOU CAN BARELY BREATH IN IT.

AND THAT BAND IN THE BACK OFYOUR HEAD MAKING YOU BLEED

THROUGH YOUR SKULL.

AND YOU KNOW THEY CAN'THEAR YOU SAYING TRICK-OR-TREAT.

[MUFFLED] TRICK OR...

[GASPS] TRICK OR...

[GASPS] TRICK OR...

[GASPS] TRICK OR...

[MUFFLED SPEECH]AND HOW MUCH AIR DO THEY GIVE US

IN THE MASK, THAT LITTLE SLOT?

YOU CAN STICK YOUR TONGUETHROUGH IT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE][GASPS] TRICK OR...

AND THEN YOU WOULD CUTYOUR TONGUE 'CAUSE THAT WAS

RAZOR SHARP.

[LAUGHTER]AND THEY SAY IT'S THE RAZORS

IN THE APPLES.

NO, IT'S YOUR MASK!

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

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