Kyle Kinane - Not a Classy Person

Kyle Kinane Season 15, Ep 10 02/25/2011 Views: 10,154

It has come to Kyle Kinane's attention that he might be first generation white trash. (2:24)

that I may be firstgeneration white trash.

[audience laughter]

- Woo!

- Now, that's not suppose tobe how white trash works.

It's suppose to be, yaknow, it's suppose to be

generations of bad decisionmaking that result in, like,

somebody just yellingswears at a truck.

Ya know, that's what--that's what that should be.

But now, my parentswere reasonable people.

They weresmart and tough.

Okay, I mean, my mom stolesome cats when I was younger

and my dad always cookedbacon with no shirt on.

I don't know whythat was a thing.

A-a lot of Saturday morningsof him just sitting there,

just like, in front of thestove just going, "dah, jeez!"

"Put a-put a shirt on, man--What are you doing?"

He's like, "Well,I get hot."

I'm like, "Yeah,you're gettin' burned.

That's the hottestyou can possibly be."

[laughter and applause]

But-but outsideof that, like,

decent people-decent people.

But this is theresult, ya know?

This is, like-like-- I'vemade choices in my life

that are just--

They're not-they'renot of good character.

[audience laughter]

As a young-- Andit started early too.

As a young man, I dated agirl for a whole summer once--

Couldn't stand her.

She had big boobs.

Stayed with hera whole summer...

put up with a lot of[deleted] because of that.

Just big boobs... that'snot a classy person.

That's not a nice guy.

I like to thinkI've changed.

I don't know.

[audience laughter]

But the thing is...

I dated this girland she says,

"Okay, we're gonna go ona double date and she--

And the doubledate was with her,

her mom, and hermom's boyfriend, Rick...

A fella that had a strongaversion to sleeves.

Didn't like 'em.

[audience laughter]

And the thing was, it wassleeveless Rick's birthday,

so he was callin'the shots.

S.R. says we're gonnago to Medieval Times.

[audience laughter]

Now, that scenario shouldbe the end of that story...

[audience laughter]

but the white trashpart isn't that.

The white trash partis that I got excited.

Medieval Times!

Come on!

How could you--Uh, listen, historically,

castles are notoriouslydifficult to penetrate.

All right?

There are moats, there aredrawbridges, there's hot oil...

maybe a dragon.

Not Medieval Times,

they want you tocome into that castle.

Take advantage ofthat opportunity.

They got their ownexit off the highway.

Go see a historicalmonument when you can.

[audience laughter]