Kyle Kinane - This Is America

Kyle Kinane Season 15, Ep 10 02/25/2011 Views: 12,874

As an American, it is Kyle Kinane's God-given right to be loudly opinionated about something he knows nothing about. (1:25)

"You gotta getout there.

"Your vote counts."

Vote counts...

You don't know what you'revotin' for half the time.

You get there, I mean--You know who you're votin' for

who can affordTV commercials.

You gonna-- Like,the guys that, ya know,

the grown men and womenwho wanna run the country

and they spendbillions of dollars

to get a commercial that says,"That guys a jerk.

"Don't pick him."

And the other guy's like,"That guy's a dick.

"Don't pick him"--And you're like,

"Well, I'd rather havea jerk than a dick."

That's a good argument.

That's good-- Good politicalargument, ya know?

Ya know, but then you get thereand you get a giant sheet

and giant scan-tronsheet to fill out

and you're having flashbacksfrom high school, like,

"How much time's left?"

I don't know--A-A-A-B-B-B-C-C-C...

You don't even know--You don't even know

what you're votin'for half the time.

You get to votefor a Comptroller.

Anybody know whatComptroller does?

[audience laughter]

No-- But you getto pick one out.

That's a prettycrummy system.

"Uh, Victor'sa cool name.

I don't know,[deleted].

There you go-- Now, you'reComptroller, Victor.

Don't make melook stupid."


Uh, now, I know Icould probably fulfill

some sort of civicresponsibility

by researching eachcandidate and finding out

who's platform reflectsmy ideals the best,

but to hell with that...this is America.

It is my God-given rightto be loudly opinionated

about something I amcompletely ignorant of.

[audience laughter]